Tehreer (Writing)

Duniya ke saare shahron ka culture yaksaan
Aabaadi, tanhaayi banti jaati hai.
(All the cities in the world have the same story to tell -
The more crowded it is, the lonelier people become)

~ Bashir Badr

(A poor attempt at translating the sher (meaning couplet, plural ashaar (pronounced ash-aar)), but I hope it conveys the basic idea.)
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By the way, I like the word 'Tehreer', which means writing. I also like the phrase 'Ret pe Tehreer', meaning 'Writing on the Sand'. :-)

I wish

I wish I were more at ease with myself, more in control of things. Why's it that words/thoughts desert me when/where they matter the most? It feels so dumb!

...I wish I were smarter 8-|

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Live. Your time starts now.

DoorDarshan

Today, while sitting in the office, I found myself humming

"Ek kahaani kahte-kahte ek kahaani aur mili
Dil ki Dagar pe chalte-chalte, ek nishaani aur mili"

and suddenly the memories of good ol' DoorDarshan days came rushing back to me.

Some of you may still remember, it was the title track of a serial based on Gulzar's short stories, "Ek Kahaani". Such a bunch of heart-warming little stories they were! Then there were serials based on short-stories/novels by Chekhov, Maupassant, Tagore, Sharatchandra, Premchandra, Satyajit Ray, RK Narayanan, Ruskin Bond, Rahi Masoom Raza and names I might have forgotten.

"Chekhov Ki Kahaaniyaan" used to be one of my favorite serials. The stories were so touching, and had this quality of making your heart go out to the characters. No other serials have been able to capture childhood fantasies and present them in the manner RK Narayan's "Malgudi Days" and Ruskin Bond's "Ek Tha Rusty" did.

Or even the serials based on old indian stories like Vikram-Betaal or Sinhaasan Battisi - they were too dramatic at times, but made their point nevertheless. And then, there was this series for kids, "Kahaaniyon ka Guchchha" - its title track makes all the more sense now -

"Khatti ho to namak lagaake
Gale mein aTke paani le lo
Guchchha hai bhai guchchha hai
Kahaaniyon ka guchchha hai
Kahaani le lo"

:) Isn't that so very true about life as well?

I was not old enough at the time of Hum Log or Nukkad. But the other serials I remember watching and loving are Farmaan, Circus, Dekh Bhai Dekh, Vyomkesh Bakshi and Aarohan. Even Shekhar Suman's Reporter was something I remember our family waiting eagerly for, every monday at 9 pm, if I remember it right.

Not only the stories, even the actors and the characters they've played have became immortal in the history of indian television. Be it Pankaj Kapoor as KaramChand or Vijay Anand as Sam D'silva in Tehkikaat, it's hard to imagine someone else playing the characters.

Despite a hundred music channels, no programme has equalled the popularity of Chitrahaar, which made people forget all their assignments and sit glued to the TV at 7:30, every Wednesday and Friday. Or even Rangoli, which made us get up at 7, even on Sundays.

*sigh* I can go on and on writing about these serials, and how they always managed to bring the whole family together for lunch or dinner. I do miss the golden DoorDarshan days!

"Sadiyon sadiyon wahi tamaasha
Rasta-rasta lambi khoj
Lekin jab woh mil jaata hai
Kho jaata hai jaane Kaun"

:)

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Beautilful, isn't it?

Khalish

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Khanjar se haathon pe lakeerein
Koi bhala kya likh paaya
Humne magar is paagalpan mein
Khud ko chhala hai seene mein
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Rishte

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Rishte - I

Bheegi ret mein seepii chunte, chaand mein chehre dhoondhte
Khud mein hi hanste-muskaate, paagal se yeh rishte hain

Teri hansi ki dhoop ke jaise, narm meherbaan roshan yeh
Sarson ke peele kheton se, lahke se yeh rishte hain

Har dhadkan mein saanse lete, har halchal mein mil jaate
Aahon mein bante-bujhte se, pighle se yeh rishte hain

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Rishte - II

Kheench ke suljhaana chaaha tha, kuchh gaanThein hi haath lagi
Resham ki naazuk doron se, uljhe se yeh rishte hain

Maine jab bhi rokna chaaha, haath chhuDa ke bhaag gaye
Anjaane logon mein bachchon se sahme yeh rishte hain

Sambhal ke rakhna paaon zameen pe, sannate na chubh jaayein
Is ghar ke zarre-zarre mein, bikhre se yeh rishte hain

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Pal

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Kabhie zindagi ki daud mein
Tezi se bhaagta hua
Phir teri hansti aankhon mein
Wohi pal mila hai ruka hua

Dekho zara is waqt ka
Bhi bachpana hai gaya nahin
Sab dhoondhte hain yahan-wahan
Hansta kahin, yeh chhupa hua

Tumse bataao kisliye
Yeh dushmani hai waqt ki
Tum aaye, aur woh chal diya
Jo tha lamha kab se thama hua

Pichhli mulaqaat mein
Kuchh pal tum bhool aaye the
Chaukhat ke shayad paas hai
Ek pal abhi bhi pada hua

Alsaaya sust ek pal
Aangan mein dhoop senkta
Ik bhoola-bisra lamha hai
Choolhe pe sulagta hua

Satrangi shaam bhi to yeh
Guncha hai rangeen phoolon ka
Yeh lamha tere naam ka
Hai indradhanush mein bandha hua

Tu hansta hai to saath mein
Yeh bhi to khilkhilaata hai
Gusse mein teri baaton se
Phir dil ko cheerta hua

Humne to intezaar mein
Dariya yeh baandh rakha tha
Tumhe yaad karte hi bah chala
Jo yuun hua, to kya hua

Aa jaao ki din thak gaya
Sooraj ne aankhein moond lii
Dekho diya hai bujh raha
Pal uD rahe hain dhuaan-dhuaan
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Baadalon Mein Sona

Baadalon mein sona, kaisa lagta hoga?

Kya taare kuchh paas nazar aayenge?
Kya chaandani kuchh zyada thandi hogi?
Jheeni chaadar ka kona, kaisa lagta hoga?

Baadalon mein bhi,
Ret-se ghar bante-bigadte hain
Aur sooraj ka khilauna, kaisa lagta hoga?

Tanha se kuchh sur, gar mann udaas karte hon
Paani se bane narm takiyon mein
Muh chhupa ke rona, kaisa lagta hoga?

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Rainbow

Who stole the colors? Where’re the violets, indigos and blues? Why didn’t I notice the green fading away? Lost my yellow, orange and red somewhere along the way.

I see the world in a kaleidoscope of grey. The kid’s soft pink cheeks are now white. The pretty librarian doesn’t smile with her shining sea-green eyes anymore.

People don’t turn green with envy and purple with rage. Blushing red and gloomy blues are long forgotten.

I still see a silvery desert on a black moonless night, the golden sky above an ashen grey sea, and sparkling diamonds on pale, bleached faces – but, oh, where’re the colors?

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Work!

As soon as I wrote the word ("work", silly!), I knew I'm not the best person to write a blog about it; simply because I'm just as lazy as a gemini could be. And my being in office on saturdays and sundays does nothing to contradict the fact; because I'm not in office 'coz I'm a workaholic, I'm in office simply 'coz I did not feel like working almost the entire week. Again, which doesn't mean I did not work at all; it just means that I worked just as much as was enough to let everyone know that I was working. =))

Coming to which, I think that working in a team is really difficult - so kudos to all you who think team work is cool. I mean, it's really necessary when you need some help, 'coz experience does count; but otherwise it requires a lot of dedication (at least from me) if you want to focus on your work, and not on tea/coffee/gup-shups with your 'team' :-p

Again, coming to which, I think dedication is an element that iGod altogether forgot to put in me (especially, dedication when it comes to 'working' ;)) 'coz even when I'm looking all sincere with my assignments, my mind is flashing with scores of ideas of anything under the sun, right from a long-forgotten movie to the way the person I'm talking to keeps repeating a certain phrase. :-p

Well, mom says I have a brilliant mind ;) ;), and so I can do whatever I set my eyes upon and do it brilliantly (I think every mother thinks the same of her child, but who am I to question what my mom says? :-p). So I've been trying hard (not to do something brilliant, but to set my eyes upon something that I'd want to do brilliantly :-p) ; may my mom's wishes come true. Amen!

chanchal si, hansti hui, uchhalti hui ... .dikhti thi hamesha....
koi poochhe to kehti ke bahut door jaana hai...

dariya thi wo, mil gai saagar mein....

(oh, btw, this is not an original one :) I just read the lines somewhere)

Mera yaar mila de saaiyaan

Movie: Saathiya
Lyrics: Gulzar
Music: A.R.Rehman

Songs, like ghosts of memories buried long ago, keep coming back to you. Songs of Saathiya are not new to me. But for the last 2 years, they've been nothing more than an occasional background sound in the clamorous drama of my life.
I recently rediscovered the songs while searching for Gulzaar, who essentially stands for 'meaningful lyrics' to me.
With Rehman, the more you listen to his music - the more it gets on you. But almost always, of all the songs in the movie, my favorite turns out to be the song he has sung himself. Take Dil Se title track, Swades title track, Khalbali from Rang De Basanti, or Yaar Mila De from Saathiya - they all are in Rehman's voice.

So, here are the (very roughly) translated lyrics for the song :)

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Banjar hai sab banjar hai, hum dhoondhne jab firdaus chale
Teri khoj-talaash mein dekh piya hum kitne kaale kos chale
(Seeking a garden, all that I see is this barren land.
How many joyless/vague miles must I travel looking for you?)

Mera yaar mila de saaiyaan, ik baar mila de saaiyaan
(Meet me, my love; beloved, meet me just once)

Maine foRa foRa falak chhaana, maine toRe toRe taare chune
Sirf ek teri aahat ke liye kankar, patthar, but saare sune

(I've cracked open the sky, and broken apart the stars.
Seeking the sound of your footsteps, I've borne the silence of stones and idols alike.)

Mera yaar mila de saaiyaan

Taaron ki chamak yeh subah takal
Lagti hi nahin pal bhar ko pakal
(This star light till the morning,
Doesn't let me sleep even for a second.)
Maine foRa foRa falak chhaana, maine toRe toRe taare chune
Sirf ek teri aahat ke liye kankar, patthar, but saare sune
HuN mere se ruswaaiyaan
(And I find only disgrace)
Aa dekh meri peshaani ko, taqdeer ke harfe likhe hain
Main kitni baar pukaarun tujhe, tere naam ke safhe likhe hain

(Do you not see the words of fate written on my forehead?
How many times must I call out to you? Pages have been written only of your name.)

Mera yaar mila de saaiyaan
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Friday, finally!

A friday, at last. The day I can't work, however much I force myself to - not that I force myself much ;)
So, everyone has a smile (genuine), noone's fretting over work, and the 'bosses' are not acting as bosses. We have three training sessions, all scheduled at the same time, and two in the same conference room ;) It's funny how the project leads don't discuss things with their colleagues, at the same time instructing their team to discuss everything with everyone else.
And then there's this weekly team meeting, that everyone looks forward to. They'd have been even more successful had there been refreshments to go with the 'weekely team break' :-p

Yet another thing to look forward to is the Circus show we're planning to go to. I don't think it'll materialize, though. Not because we're lazy - just 'coz it's a friday, and we should have booked the tickets some time in advance.
The last time I visited a circus was in Chennai - The Gemini Circus. The performers were efficient, the show excellent - at the same time, heartbraking. Most of the performers were so young, they should have been studying in a school, playing, reciting rhymes - and not risking their lives, while people like us clapped for them.

Also in the list this weekend is some last-minute (last-weekend) Deepawali shopping before I leave for home next thursday. (Suggest some gift for my bhabhi, anyone ;) ). Would also love to have a good coffee at Barista this weekend, if I could convince someone to come along. I wonder if the Bad coffee in the office is on purpose, so that we don't get addicted. Such altruism on the part of HCL!

And yet again, I wish I could be more like my mother. I'm a dreamer, she - a doer. If I see something bad around me, I know it's bad, I also know why it's bad, I can tell others that it's bad. If she sees it, she'll do something to set it right; and not sit around criticizing it. If I see something good, I'll praise it, I'll love it. If she likes something, she'll do something similar, or better.
What do you see me doing now? Praising my mother, criticizing the coffee at office - but 'not feeling like doing anything' :-p

So, let me at least make a wish-list.

• I wish I could be more focused.
• I wish I could prepare a list (another list) ;) of movies/music I like (a task given to me days back)
• I wish I could write better. I wish that over and over again, every time I read anything well-written.
• I wish I could take some time out for myself, and learn something new.
• I wish I were not this lazy.
• I wish I could take a long leave. :-<
• I wish I wished less, and did more. :-p
• I wish you all a happy weekend ;)

:)

Everything's Fair in Love and War!

Let's leave the 'war' part for now :-p

And in love, well, loving each other is not enough. It may be the beginning AND the end, but there's a lot in between. Trust, for example. And this 'taken-forgranted' trust (or the lack of it) often decides the shape of a relationship.

It's all rosy in the beginning. Thing is, we don't care! It doesn't matter what the other person is doing. Or WHY. But as things move on, this 'why' becomes the most-used word in couples. Why didn't you call me? Why did you get late? Why didn't you let me know? Why're you talking to me like this? Why do you go to that restaurant? Why do you wear that? Why do you talk to XYZ? Why don't you like talking about ABC? Why don't you shave? Why do you watch that stupid channel? And so on and so forth. For every why there's a counter-why. And neither partner lets the other remain 'why-less' for long. And most of the time, it doesn't even mean anything. Most of the time, the question is irrelevant. It's the tone that tells the story.

And that brings us to another highly used tool in love. Sarcasm. Actually, it's as beautiful as it is intricate. It's not like a missile that'll go 'boom' and destroy everything, it's like burning coal that'll burn your hand - slowly - and hurt till it turns itself into ashes. And maybe that's why - it's mostly the weapon of guys (like crying is of girls ;) ).

In fact, people in relationships (both guys and girls) have even confessed to getting pleasure out of hurting their partners. "Just wanted to ensure I could still hurt you!" Ha, Nice! And it's not sadism, just "I'm still the boss" feeling.

Gee, I'm on the wrong track :D Am feeling like a 'Love Guru' :D Will post it anyway! :) And here's a link, just for fun ;)
http://www.funnyhub.com/pictures/img/a-happy-couple.jpg

Innocence

It is desirable, most of the time – expected, especially in girls.
I’m not claiming innocence; in fact, I confess that I’m not innocent – innocence, as in naivety. But then, what’s the big deal? Do only men have the right to be intelligent?
I want my freedom, my space, recognition, money, love. Or maybe, I want to be lost, be left alone. Whatever!
Or, leave my being ‘girl’ aside. Suppose I’m any X-Y-Z around you. Suppose I’m you. Now, isn't the right to 'want' something, or to 'not want' something else, a most basic one?
Why can't I be mean to others, why do I have to be mean to myself?
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[Oh, and this is not directed towards anyone. I mean ANYONE whosoever. Thank you!]

Tere Aane Ki Jab...

Tere aane ki jab khabar mahke
Teri khushbu se saara ghar mahke

Shaam mahke tere tasavvur se
Shaam ke baad phir sahar mahke

Raat bhar sochta raha tujhko
Zehan-o-dil mere raat bhar mahke

Yaad aaye to dil munavvar ho
Deed ho jaaye, to nazar mahke

Woh ghadi do ghadi jahaan baithe
Woh zameen mahke woh shajar mahke

Kanha

I was five years old, when I asked mom what my name meant. "Radha," she told me "Kanu means Krishna, and Priya means beloved, so Kanupriya means the beloved of Krishna, that is - Radha.
So, on Janmashtami, here's to my beloved, Krishna - Happy B'day!
And for all Krishna devotees, here's a beautiful collection of pics (from the net) -

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(This one's my fav!)

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Chitvan

Chitvan
Janm-MaraN-Aakarshan

Chir swatantrata ki akanksha
Ya phir aTooT yah ik bandhan

Bhor ki komal shvet namee
Phir kaali raat ka woh anjan

Kabhie laakhon-laakh khyaalon mein
Kab nis-din ik hii dhun mein magan

Palkon ke tale sameTe hue
Dharti, taare, yeh chaand-gagan

Ik pal ko thame, phir chanchal yeh
Jeevan ke raag ka jyon gunjan

Love lost

Dear Diary,

It's our seventh year together, and my seventh year of being away from her...

I didn't really want to her to go - I know that she loved me. We were happy together, happier than we had ever been (or could ever be, perhaps). She was the future that I dreamt of, the future that could have been mine. Except that I ran away from it, from my happiness. I was too afraid it would leave me... I left that happiness.

Not that I miss her day and night, no! It's just when I least expect it that she comes - unpredictable as always. You know, that's why I hated her. She was so full of contradictions, in fact, all about contradictions. When she looked too happy, it was to hide herself from the sadness that was eating her. And when she was crying, you could be sure the next moment she'd be laughing at you for believing her crocodile tears. She lied with such authority, that her moments of truth looked like a saga of lies. She thought with her rational heart, and feeled with her sentimental mind. That is why I hated her... And loved her.

Because life was not a journey with her - it was a quest. Everyday you had to win her anew. She was not the same person you met yesterday, or could expect to meet tomorrow. That is why I loved her.

After all these years, I still find her memories scattered around me, here and there, now and then. As if you open a long-forgotten favorite book, and a rose that you had put in it years back makes you remember something and smile all of a sudden, or fills your heart with gladness (or sadness) - that is how her memories are. Fragrant, forgotten and fragile.