Some questions are better left unanswered

At times I wonder why I've stopped writing...
Attributing it to being busier is a lie I keep telling myself. But deep down inside, I think that I'm just not foolish enough anymore.

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Swades: Musings

Shah Rukh Khan works his charm and energy to perfection in the song 'Yeh taara woh taara' from Swades. Right from his attire (a simple blue shirt with a pair of jeans) to those awesome signature dance moves - there is something so genuine about him in it that the song has an immense draw and repeat value (at least for me).

It doesn't hurt that I have some beautiful memories associated with it (and with Swades, in general). I can still remember the corridors of our hostel (Niveshnam) continuously echoing with the songs from Swades, specially 'Yeh jo des hai tera'.

Then there was this weekend in Nashville, TN - me and Swati were whaling away time, watching youtube. We started with Michael Jackson moonwalking gloriously in some stage performance, moved to 'We are the world', from there to 'Vande Mataram', and so on. By the time we reached 'Yeh jo des hai tera', we were both crying, literally. It was embarrassing and emotional at the same time - like a lot of things are. We had our share of fun in the US, but there was something amiss; and the songs of Swades reminded us of those things. Cliched, but true!

AR Rahman, you are a magician. That an article on rediff listing the best of your work in Bollywood movies can miss out on Taal and Lagaan shows the range of amazing scores you have to your credit. Having even one of these movies to their names would have made some other music director 'a force to reckon with' in media parlance.

The score of Swades goes on to show that it's not just with electronic arrangements and complex instruments that Rahman works his magic. Even a simple arrangement can be immensely beautiful and moving. Listen to any song, from 'Yun hi chala chal' to 'Yeh taara' to 'Pal-pal hai bhaari' to know what I mean.

Before I end this piece, did I mention about the charm and energy of SRK in this song? I did? Well, I'd never get tired of it :)

A different kind of afternoon

Have this sudden urge to write. As if I must write it all before something in me ends, as if I'm working against a deadline. I often have these phases when I stop writing altogether. Last time that phase lasted a few years.

On a totally different note, आज राजघाट के सामने बने इग्नू के सेंटर पर जाने का मौका मिला. वैसे काम तो इग्नू में था, पर वहाँ से ज्यादा अच्छा 'गाँधी स्मृति एवं दर्शन समिति' कैम्पस में जा कर लगा (इग्नू की इमारत इस के अन्दर ही है). शहर की भाग-दौड़ के बीचोबीच ऐसी शांत जगह की उम्मीद नहीं थी, इसलिए शायद और pleasant surprise था. 

रीसर्च स्कालर्स के लिए बना गेस्ट हाउस देख कर लगा, मानो ये बिल्डिंग मेरे सपनो से निकाल के यहाँ ला कर रख दी गयी हो. चारों ओर से ऊंचे पेड़ों और हरी घास से घिरी, लाल ईंटों से बनी इस इमारत का आर्किटेक्चर काफी angular सा है. अपने मोबाइल फ़ोन के १.३ मेगा पिक्सल के कैमरे से चोरी से खींची हुई एक फोटो लगा देती हूँ, हालाँकि इससे उस जगह की खूबसूरती का बिलकुल अंदाज़ा नहीं लगता.

इससे थोडा आगे बढ़ने पर बायीं तरफ एक बड़ा सा lawn नज़र आता है. इसकी boundary walls काले रंग की wrought iron की छड़ों से बनी हुई है, जिस पर हिंदी के महान कवियों व लेखकों की तस्वीरों, कविताओं व गद्यांशों वाले करीब 3x6 फुट के कई बोर्ड लगे हुए हैं. मुंशी प्रेमचंद्र, अज्ञेय, गोपाल सिंह नेपाली आदि से कभी मुलाकात का मन हो, तो वहां जाइएगा.

आगे इग्नू की बिल्डिंग की ओर बढ़ने पर गाँधी जी के एक बड़े से स्टैचू पर नज़र पड़ती है. लेकिन इनकी दिल्ली या भारत में कोई कमी नहीं है, इसलिए ध्यान अभी भी पीछे छूटे कवियों पर ही अटका रहता है.

अक्टूबर के साथ शुरू हो चुके गुलाबी मौसम ने इस मौके को दोगुना ख़ास बना दिया. वैसे तो आज-कल अक्टूबर हो या जून, पक्षियों की आवाज़ सुने महीनों बीत जाते हैं.

वहां जा कर लगा, कभी बहुत से पैसे हों, तो खुद के लिए एक ३२-मंजिला घर बनवाने से अच्छा है खूब सारी ज़मीन ले कर, खूब सारे पेड़ लगा कर, उनके बीच एक छोटा सा दुमंजिला बनवाना. एक तरफ गुलमोहर, एक तरफ अमलतास, एक तरफ पलाश, कुछ बोटल-ब्रश. एक छोटा सा तालाब भी बन सके तो क्या ही बात हो!

Whistling and our family

Ours is a family where whistling is almost a tradition. Situ dada taught me the simplest form when I was around 8. I remember my classmates pretending to be outraged by it (I'm sure they were impressed, maybe even a little jealous). I understand that studying as we were in the RSS run Saraswati Shishu Mandir, it was expected of them to take the moral high ground all the time.  

The more elaborate whistling (with fingers) was taught in a more elaborate class held by Cheeku dada, spanning various ceremonies in the course of Shraddha didi's wedding. Kids of all age-groups were welcome to learn the art, and the course was followed by practicals exams.

Now, be it in college auditoriums, after winning cricket matches, in cinema halls at item numbers, Dil To Pagal Hai style whistling on an empty moon-lit roads, while dancing at baaraats, tapori style whistling, or whistling for the heck of it at family gatherings - this is a tradition that has helped us connect with each other and baffle others over the years.

Here is to many more years of whistling our way out of blues!

Did you know?

1. RD Burman has used whistling in his songs a number of times.

2. Anu Malik is an accomplished whistler. He often whistles for his own songs (like Main Hoon Na title track)

3. I found the Sanskrit prayers we used to say in our school on the wikipedia page :D

Daftar ke Din

दफ्तर के दिन 

एक को 'ग़बन' के सफहों के बीच बुक-मार्क बना के रख छोड़ा 

कुछ को कॉफ़ी के संग निगल लिया

कईयों को अख़बार की तरह -

सरसरी निगाह से देख भर के किनारे रख दिया 

कुछ दिन अब भी कनाट प्लेस के सर्कल्स के चक्कर ही लगा रहे हैं 

दफ्तर के दिन, हम बस ऐसे बिता रहे हैं!

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Office Days

One is now a bookmark for 'Ghaban'

Some were gulped down with a hurried cappuccino

Many were just glanced upon like a newspaper, and cast aside

Some days are still hanging around at Connaught Place

This is how I'm spending, my office days! 

दर्द की इन्तेहा

दर्द ऐसा कि बस, सहा न जाए

हर एक छुअन पर जान मुंह को आती है 

उफ़! ये नाखून का यूं टूट जाना 

Goodbye, Coffee!

Dear Coffee,

I love you, but it's time we parted ways. 

I know you've been with me in my most difficult times. And believe me, leaving you is a lot more painful for me than it will ever be for you. It's hardly been a few hours, and I already feel crappy. 

But it has come to this - you have hurt me. I never thought you'd do this to me, knowing how much I depended on you. Guess that was my undoing. I wish I could say "It's not you, it's me." But it really is you. Mom used to constantly tell me that you're not good for me. I wish I paid heed before it was too late.

I think I'll even have to avoid coffee shops, given how much time we've spent together there. I might even bump into you sometime, and things might get awkward. 'Cause no matter what I say, it'll be hard for me to not fall for you yet again.

Know this, though - I loved you deeply. I loved waking up to you, loved the way you popped up in the middle of a dreary day and made it bearable, loved how you stayed up with me during my exams, even loved your  dark and bitter side.

But I won't get swept off my feet again. I'm not averse to an occasional rendezvous, but that's all there will be to us.

Adiós!
~K

Image Source

Hindi

हिंदी दिवस के अवसर पर यह सोच कर अच्छा लग रहा है, कि मेरी पढाई एक हिंदी भाषी स्कूल में हुई. इससे मेरी अंग्रेजी कमज़ोर नहीं हुई, पर हिंदी ज़रूर आज तक मज़बूत है.

आज भी मैं हिंदी उपन्यास पढ़ती हूँ, हिंदी अंको को पहचानती हूँ (कई लोगों को यह मुश्किल लगता है), और हिंदी की बारीकियों को समझ सकती हूँ. हिंदी कविताओं का एक अलग आनंद है. साथ ही, इससे उर्दू समझने में भी आसानी होती है.

इसका बहुत सा श्रेय मम्मी को जाता है. एक ऐसे समय में, जब हर कोई सोचता है कि अंग्रेजी स्कूल ही अच्छे हैं, उन्होंने एक स्कूल के माध्यम से ज्यादा उसमें पढाई के स्तर को अहमियत दी. साथ ही लगातार हमें हिंदी और अंग्रेजी दोनों भाषाओँ में ज्यादा से ज्यादा पढने के लिए प्रेरित किया. 

साथ ही मेरे स्कूल, 'सरस्वती शिशु मंदिर' और बनस्थली विद्यापीठ को बहुत, बहुत धन्यवाद. उनके सिखाये हुए सिद्धांत उम्र भर मेरे साथ रहेंगे. 

Rozaana updates

Well, this post comes mostly because there are too many 'updates' to fit into one facebook status update.

For one, had a wonderful get-together yesterday with old project mates (MOJOiites). It's always so good to meet old friends... Surprisingly (or maybe not), we are all in different companies now. That's the way things are in IT sector, I guess... though I wonder if all of us have made many good friends in these many companies that we keep hopping to and from.

For another, I have re-discovered my love for qawwalis. Not that I'm into the 'real' qawwalis; I have heard just the ones I came across from Bollywood. What goes a long way into getting me fall in love with them is their witty word-play. Dear imaginary readers, if you too like witty wordplays, listen to songs like 'Na to karvan ki talaash hai' (from Barsat ki Raat) and 'Teri mehfil mein' (Mughal-e-Aazam) or maybe even 'Hai agar dushman [dusham] zamaana, gham nahin' from (Hum Kisi Se Kam Nahin). Well, yeah, this song is not just a regular song from Antakshari; it displays some pretty good singing and good lyrics.

Picking up from somewhere in between the last paragraph, Mughal-e-Aazam was a treat to watch in color! (OK, so I watched it some 6-7 years back, but that doesn't mean I couldn't recommend it). Well maybe it wouldn't be quite that much fun when watched on a smaller screen... Anyhoo, the song 'Pyaar kiya to darna kya' (from the same movie) also touches some chords in my heart. The way it has been filmed, Lata's voice, Madhubala's defiant looks and the audacious lyrics - they all come together in such a powerful way that I can't help falling in love with it.

So, as might be pretty apparent, yesterday was my day with youtube and old songs and qawwalis. And I have to admit - though I might not be listening to music quite as much as I would like to, it always is such a pleasure to go back to it (even for small intervals)!

On that note, I bring to an end my random blog post. Well, almost...

Because I suddenly remembered just how much fun it was to attend a live qawwali session by Sabri brothers on the eve of Eid in Banasthali ... it was surreal and a lot of fun! Wish I could attend more live performances. Wish list includes Sonu Nigam, A.R. Rahman, sufi music, and well, anything to do with music!

PS for imaginary reader(s): If you come across any nice qawwalis yourself, please let me know.

What do you REALLY love doing?

Last night, after a really long time, I spent some time listening to music. It was a beautiful night, with the winter setting in. Each whiff of air (with just a hint of cold) carried with it the light scent of tulsi and mustard oil (used to light the evening lamp). A perfect after-Deewali night of North India!

As I strolled on the terrace, the music created such a magical feel, that I wondered what indeed has come between me and my love of music? Looking back, I realized that I spend almost 2 hours every day watching TV (9-11 pm). This is a relatively new habit. Having only DD-1 at home when growing up, and thereafter being in a no-TV university for 8 years ensured that I never fell into this habit.

So, with almost 12 hours (8 am - 8 pm) spent in and commuting for my job - followed by these 2 hours - I am left with only 10 hours a day. And I sleep for 8 hours out of these 10. Where is the time for things that used to be me? Where is the time for music, dance, books, movies, sketching - all these things that as a student I used to call my passion?

The point I am trying to make to myself is,

(i) I should probably shift to a place relatively near to the office (commuting for job accounts for 3-4 hours a day - WAY too many!) - but I love our current apartment just too much for that :(

(ii) I should cut back on watching TV. (Wish they showed really bad shows on Star World too, just like on almost all other channels)

@Everyone: Do you find time for yourself? If yes, how? If no, it is time you started thinking about it too.

PS: I was listening to songs by Gulzar.

An Idea can change my blog's life?

Any idea on how to revive my blog? I want to write, but I can't get myself to do it. And when I do write something, it's not good enough to be posted online :-|

Har Roz

To all those who do not know this already - I'm getting married. In 20 days' time - the date is 14th Feb! Life's getting busier and better, with each day getting spent in purchasing things and collecting memories...

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Har roz, raat hote-hote

Saare din ikattha kiya hua dard, aakhir nazar aane lagta hai

(Shukra hai yeh dard dil mein nahin,

Haathon aur pairon mein hi hai)

Har roz, yoon ghoom-ghoom kar

(Kabhie Chandani Chowk ki tang galiyon mein

To kabhie kisi mall mein)

Hum jo waqt guzaar rahe hain;

Woh waqt guzar nahin raha, kahin jama hota ja raha hai

Waqt milne pe in lamhon ka ek calendar banaayenge

Har roz ki, jitni bhi thakaan hai

Jitni bhi shikaayatein

Sab gaayab ho jaati hain

Bas jaate-jaate ek baar muskurate ho jo tum

Har roz, saamaan sahejte hue raat mein

Kisi na kisi khyaal ka silsila chal padta hai

Khwaab ab zyada nazdeek se dekh paati hoon

Har roz, din par din

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Yex-periment

:P

Futility

How hard you tried to fill your empty life with big words!
Too bad the words were hollow.

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Kachche Dhaage

Kuchh rangeen rishton ke dhaagon se sili hui
AaDhi-teDhi, patchwork si zindagi
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An Ode to Leisurely Days

Dil dhoondhta hai, phir wohi, fursat ke raat din
Baithe rahein, tasavvur-e-jaana kiye hue
[Ghalib]

Galiyon mein baarishon mein, bach kar chalo jo tum
Hans dein hum, dhaani chunri pe chheente uchhaal kar
Dekha karein, aankhein teri shikwe liye hue

Phir gungune patjhadon mein, shaakhein chuna karein
Yaaron ke beech baith ke; yaadein buna karein
Chuskiyon mein chaai ki, ghul kar hanste hue

JaaDon ki narm dhoop aur, aangan mein let kar
Aankhon pe kheench kar tere, aanchal ke saaye ko
Aundhe paDe rahein kabhi, karwat liye hue

Yaa garmiyon ki raat jo, purwaaiyaan chalein
ThanDee safed chaadaron par, jaagein der tak
Taaron ko dekhte rahein, chhat par pade hue

Barfeeli sardiyon mein, kisi bhi pahaaD par
Waadee mein goonjti hui, khaamoshiyaan sune
Aankhon mein bheege bheege se, lamhe liye hue
.

This song never fails to make me yearn for the leisurely days back in Rewa. I tried adding two more verses to the first one (written by Ghalib) and the last three (written by Gulzar).
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Foodies

Delhi for sure is food-lovers' heaven! Last weekend we got a glimpse of it.

Eating doesn't get better than this! :)

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[Connaught Place - Gole Market - Karol Bagh - Ghulaabi Bagh - Ramjas Road - East Patel Nagar - Connaught Place - India Gate]
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What a delicious trip! :)

Jaipur Blasts

'Why?' was the first thing that came to my mind. I've never seen a more peaceful / peace-loving city. In fact, why any place at all?

[And National Handloom (Johri Bazar) was the last shop I had been to on my last trip to Jaipur :( ]
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Nothing funny

Don't try to be my fortune cookie!
Don't tell me what's in store for me

Mostly Harmless

My creation! :p
Anyway, with working hours stretching infinitely, this is how I feel.
And 'Mostly Harmless' is the novel I'm reading - Fifth in the H2G2 trilogy. (yes, I've already read the other four! ^_^)