The Story of the Desert

"Let's play a game!", he said. "Let's pretend you're the princess of desert and I'm the knight from across the seas."

So that's what she became, the princess of desert. Surprisingly, the otherwise unyielding desert agreed to play along. Together, the desert and the princess waited for the knight.


Very early every morning, they dressed up in molten gold and pretended to be angry half the time, remorseful the other half. Bored in a few hours, the sleepy desert half-opened its sand-dune eyes, and went back to its afternoon nap.

"Winds from across the seas will bring my news", he had said. And she thought she could hear waves crashing against the shore. But the winds never brought any news. (Though sand in her eyes hurt like held-back tears, and it had a curious pungent taste, too.)


So they waited till sundown, and the desert draped her in a dusky red velvet. "Even stars will celebrate the day we reunite". (This was her best dress, and red was his favorite!) Every night, stars gathered for the celebration and sighed in silent mourning as another night slipped by. The chill in night-air was unmistakeable.


Moonlight in her dreams always made the desert look like a giant crumpled bedsheet. She felt herself decaying into the sand-sheet with time. Perhaps it was just in her dreams, funny as they are, that it became increasingly difficult to identify herself from the desert. "Come on, you're the princess around here!", she shouted at the top of her voice. But the stars looked on in amazement, as they thought they saw a sudden whiff rise and die away, from a single sand-dune.
.

Vulnerable

.

Did a bit of sketching after a long interval, and finished this one quite quickly (around 20 minutes). Since it didn't turn out to be that bad, my braggart self decided to post it ;)

Mood: Happy :)
Music: Piyu bole (Parineeta)

Demons

Some unanswered questions - unanswered, and uncomfortable - chasing you round the clock, staring at you silently (pretending to be dead, yet very much alive) - demanding their answers.

And answer you must. You don't want dead questions following you like dogs, do you? You don't want to relive their death, do you?

And yet answer you can't, because they expect words. A teary-eyed you - devoid of words, with a lump in your throat and sleepless nights by your side - can do nothing but annoy the Gods all the more. Devotees are most welcome, so long as they're not emotional fools.

Your existence is questioned, and that you're alive is no proof. Someone who's been suicidal for years can't possibly be alive, they say.

The walls of hope give way, and your own questions seep through. Assuring you of a death no worse than you deserve. A death of drowing in the waters of suspicion. Of doubts that others invented, and you lived with. (And will die with)



Mood: Indignant/Confused/And now tired
Music: Ek khyaal ke bagal mein kaise saari zindagi guzaar dein?

Ummeed

Chalte rahe hum roshni ka thaam ke dhaaga
Chaadar andhera har taraf bunta chala gaya

(It needs to be completed, but that'll need some time. Till then, I thought, why not let others add some lines to it?)

Waah, Gulzar!

Yes, I know there've been enough posts about Gulzar and ARR in my blog already. But then, you can't expect much else from a diehard Gulzar fan, and more so one who has developed a newfound interest in writing herself.

Frankly, I don't think I'm the stuff poets are made of. I know that of late I've just been posting my so-called poems, but they're not spontaenous. They usually come up after a lot of fiddling with words and playing with thoughts and ideas. I don't know if everyone writes like that, but I do.

And so, it surprises me how someone can write as simply, yet as beautifully as Gulzar does. There's no trace of slogging with words and ideas. The words seem to flow, to slide on a ground frictionless, to just have occured in someone's heart and moulded themselves into poetry. Nothing seems deliberate!

'Jab bhi thaama hai tera haath to dekha hai
Log kahte hain ki bas haath ki rekha hai
Humne dekha hai do taqdeeron ko juDte hue'

No big words, nothing unusual, yet such an extraordinary piece. And then,

'Parashtish ki yaa tak ki ey but tujhe
Nazar mein sabon ki khuda kar chale'

Or a superhit dance number, which has some meaning too -

'Woh yaar hai jo khushbu ki tarah
Jiski zubaan urdu ki tarah
Meri shaam-raat, meri qaaynaat
Woh yaar mera saiyaan saiyaan'

Even an item number gets a distinct Gulzar touch, and becomes Kajra Re (or 'Bidi Jalai Le')-

'Aankhein bhi kamaal karti hain
Personal se sawaal karti hain'

Never mind using other poets works (of course, with due credits given), they're all enriched, reinforced and given a new meaning (and popularity) altogether -

'Dil DhoonDhta hai phir wohi, fursat ke raat-din
baithe rahein tasavvur-e-jaana kiye hue'
(by Ghalib)

I can go on and on, but I realize that others do not necessarily share my enthusiasm on the subject. Moreover, this can probably go on forever (I haven't even mentioned his non-filmi compositions). So, here's to the wonderful lyricist, poet, scriptwriter and director.

We salute you!

Ideas, and the lack of them

Sometimes it so happens that I've had some idea for a blog for a long-long time, just the idea, somwhere in the back of my mind, that I mean to write about, and then when I have the time, it seems as if words always ditch me. (I guess writing such long sentences, with commas seperating them, is a bad idea - but then, I didn't want to go through it again, trying to correct it! I've never been in the habit of revising things, not even my exam papers.)

Anyway, coming to back to the point, it so happens that you never find the words you're looking for when trying to write something. And then the idea slowly turns itself into something much more severe, demanding all of your time and attention. And then you really wish the thing had never occurred to you in the first place! Gulzar has a wonderful poem about the situation, but I don't quite remember it as of now. I'll post it if I happen to find it.

So an Idea happened to me. And having heard somewhere 'An Idea can change your life', I sat down with the idea, trying to change mine. Well, my life didn't really change, but the idea did ;) and what I wrote was something quite different from what I intended to.
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Raat Ki Syaahi

Tumhari aankhein dekh ke, jaante ho, kya sochti hoon?
Ab tak aur na jaane kitni raatein qaid ho chuki hongi unmein!

Gusse mein toofaan waali ek barsaat ki raat,
Aur ek, jismein sharaarat ka ek sitaara chamka hoga
Murjhaaye patton waali ek patjhaD ki bhii!

Vaisi hi ek raat ki syaahi se jo misre likhe
Sapne kuchh berang se ubhar aaye

Abki baar jo aana, do mutthi waqt saath laana
Sapno mein rang bharna aasaan nahin!
.

So, that's that. And as I said, it's not what I wanted to write, but since it's about eyes (they always fascinate me), I thought I could post this just as well. And now, over to you.

=))

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Chhoti-Chhoti Baatein

(Nanda Devi - Taken by RajaG)

I find it strange how, at times, something as simple as a photograph can make you feel. Well, in this case, this particular photo of Nanda Devi - other than making me want to go there - made me imagine (and think about) a whole lot of things (mind you, it's not a small achivement, given that of late nothing - no novel, no poetry, not a big amount of coding, no trees, flowers or smell - has made me think so much, and for so long. And I say 'so long' 'coz when you're all tired and exhausted, to lie in your bed thinking about a pic (and the place the pic was taken at) till 3 am in the morning, when you supposedly have a short attention span - it is.)

Anyway, to cut the long story short, it made me think of how the nights at Nanda Devi will be, how the moon will look - something on these lines. And I wrote a small poem about moon at Nanda Devi -

Chaand
Sanjeeda* pahaaDi ka
NaTkhaT sa beTa chaand
Barfeeli vaadiyon mein
ThiThura* sa gol chaand
Phir garm baadalon ke
Kambal mein dubka chaand
Baatein tumhari-meri
Sunta shareer* chaand
[Sanjeeda = grim; ThiThura = cold/shivering; Shareer = mischevous]
.

And that, in turn made me want to write something about the mornings/afternoons as well. I wanted to write about sunlight in mountains, but it turned out to be something about sunlight in general-

Dhoop
Sooraj ka haath thaame
Bholi si beTi dhoop.
KhiDki ke chaukhaTe* se
Chupke se jhaanke dhoop.
JhrumuT* mein khel khele
Chhaaya ke sang dhoop.
Har saanjh hai jalaati
Chanda ka diya dhoop
Taaron ke chheenT* waali
Raat oDh soti dhoop
[KhiDki ka chaukhTa = squares of the window; JhurmuT = grove; chheenT = print]
.

Well, there were poems in my mind about 'Nadiya' and 'MiTTi' too, but my thoughts were interrupted by a song on FM, a line of which said something about a guy standing on the kagaar (edge); and I, in turn, imagined myself standing on the edge of some high mountain, looking in the depths of the infinite valleys below. And here're the lines that came to my mind -

Gahraayi
Gahraayi ki kami hai mujhmein - yahi kaha tha na tumne?
Dekho, ab gahraaiyaan khud mujhe aawaaz de rahi hain!
Apna rahi hoon inhe, ab aur gile* mat karna.
[Gile karna = to complain]
.

And that, when I'm faaar removed from any suicidal tendencies of any sort! :-p
Anyway, that was the end of it - of my thought-train, i.e. And the result for you all is, a rather long post by me at last! :-)

Contempt

*
Waah! Vaaqaye ko fasaana banaane chali
Rasm-e-deewanagi,
Ek shakhs ko zamaana banaane chali

*

[Vaaqaya - Incident]

Sapna

Ajeeb sapna tha!

Tum saath the mere
Chup si baarish;
Maano khaamoshi ko todna gunaah ho!

Kashish, qurbat, chubhan, raahat
Khaamoshi ki sharaarat ko
Jyon ishq ki bhi panaah ho!

Gum se lamhon se bani shaam
Chup se khwaabon se saji shaam
Woh shaam hazaaron boondo ki

Ajeeb sapna tha!

Agli subah dekha - na jaane kaise
Baarish ki boondein takiye par thiin
Aankhon se chhalak gayin hon jaise

Bheega, nanha woh sapna -
Uneendi palkon se roka nahin gaya

(Kashish: Attraction; Qurbat: Closeness; Jyon: as if; Uneendi: Sleepy)

Khamoshi

Lafz kuchh fizool, kuchh na-paak se lagte hain
Ek shakhs se khaamoshi baanti thi maine

*

Zindagi

*

Guzara din ka kaarvaan bemaani sa
Phir anjaan shahar mein raat ka paDaav

Jhulasti dupehari mein waqt oonghta sa
Siharti chaandni ka bujhta sa alaav

Aakhiri mukaam ko dhoondhne nikla
Zindagi ki nadii ka maddham bahaav

*

Andhera

Zindagi ke peele panne
Aur diya tere naam ka
Kuchh sawaal parchhaiyon ke
Yeh imtehaan tanhaaiyon ke!

Tanha sa peela chaand bhi
Khoya hai kaale bhanvron mein
Teri aankhon ki gehraaiyon ke
Yeh imtehaan tanhaaiyon ke!

_______

Kal Raat

Ek dhaaga aur liya teri yaad ka
Ek sapna aur buna kal raat humne

Tanhaayi, khaamoshi ke kisse ka
Ek lamha aur suna kal raat humne

:)

Happy Holi!

:)

Kabhie

kisi shab chaand baatein kare
kabhie tum ek sher kaho
kabhie hum shaam dekha karein
kabhie tum dhoop-chhanv hanso

ki phir pedon se panchhi ude
kabhie saanson mei aanch chale
kabhie saawan ki barsi ghata
kahin baahon ke jhoole pade

kisi ke sard aangan mein
andheri raat taare jalein
dilon ki mehfilon mein daur
tere naam ka chale

Girl-talk ;)

So, you've been this super-girlfriend who's ready to do anything for The-One-for-Her? A girl proud, a girl happy, a girl-who-thinks-she's-lucky to have found the right One? You think you're cool 'coz you've turned from the girl that you were to his girl?

Well, how about you go get some life? How about being loved for what you are? How about being trusted, respected, cared for and not being governed? How about not being sorry about what you've said, done or been? Just once in a while, how about it?

When was it last that you were right in an argument? When was it that there was no argument? When was it that you had others to argue with?

And no, you're not being adviced to break-up/get divorced or something. But give yourself a break, girl! What's the hurry? You have the entire life to forget the way you wanted to live your life. But while you still can, why not remember that you can eat like pigs, dance like crazies and live like tribes? If that's your idea of fun, go do that!

Men and women are as different as they could be. Chalk & cheese, oil & water or maybe heart & mind. That they still have to live together is a blunder iGod made, and we put up with. If man can come up with an instrument that would help men understand women and vice-versa, that'd be the greatest discovery of our time. Till then, may there be peace.

And girls, "Live. Your time starts now."

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PS: This post was mostly written out of frustration (so most of it is not how I feel all the time), but I'd still like to remember how I felt at that certain moment. Hence this blog, w/o any changes. :-)

Nothing to do

Well, the server crashed!

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Mood: Not really happy
Music: None

Izhaar-e-ishq

Likhe the aasmaani kaagaz pe
Baadalon ki syaahi se, bikhre hue kuchh harfe
Chaand ka ek phool bheja tha
Subah tak woh bhi murjha ke gir gaya
...
Izhaar-e-ishq humein karna nahin aaya!

Tehreer (Writing)

Duniya ke saare shahron ka culture yaksaan
Aabaadi, tanhaayi banti jaati hai.
(All the cities in the world have the same story to tell -
The more crowded it is, the lonelier people become)

~ Bashir Badr

(A poor attempt at translating the sher (meaning couplet, plural ashaar (pronounced ash-aar)), but I hope it conveys the basic idea.)
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By the way, I like the word 'Tehreer', which means writing. I also like the phrase 'Ret pe Tehreer', meaning 'Writing on the Sand'. :-)