Daftar ke Din

दफ्तर के दिन 

एक को 'ग़बन' के सफहों के बीच बुक-मार्क बना के रख छोड़ा 

कुछ को कॉफ़ी के संग निगल लिया

कईयों को अख़बार की तरह -

सरसरी निगाह से देख भर के किनारे रख दिया 

कुछ दिन अब भी कनाट प्लेस के सर्कल्स के चक्कर ही लगा रहे हैं 

दफ्तर के दिन, हम बस ऐसे बिता रहे हैं!

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Office Days

One is now a bookmark for 'Ghaban'

Some were gulped down with a hurried cappuccino

Many were just glanced upon like a newspaper, and cast aside

Some days are still hanging around at Connaught Place

This is how I'm spending, my office days! 

तुम्हारी याद

किसी शाम तुम्हारी याद यूं आती है, 

मानो सागर किनारे खड़े हों, 

और एक लहर तर-ब-तर करते हुए, 

साँसों तक में नमकीन पानी भर जाए. 

ऐसी शामों में, एक-एक सांस भारी हो जाती है. 

हर सांस, लगता है मानो जान ले कर ही बाहर आएगी.

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दर्द की इन्तेहा

दर्द ऐसा कि बस, सहा न जाए

हर एक छुअन पर जान मुंह को आती है 

उफ़! ये नाखून का यूं टूट जाना 

My old poems

Browsing through my blog posts, came across a few decent (OK) poems written at various points of time by me.  They're all in Hindi/Urdu. Sharing those again, hoping for some extra hits and comments :P

1. Farishta

2. Daayre

3. Har Roz

4. Kachche Dhaage

If you liked these, you can go to the "Poetry" section on my blog and read a few more.

Allah ke bande

Song: Allah ke bande
Movie: Waisa Bhi Hota Hai Part II
Written and performed by: Kailash Kher
Composed by: Vishal-Shekhar

This is one of my all-time favorites - mostly because it has been sung with such honesty. Kailash Kher's voice was really divine at that time - totally unmarred by commercial success and ego. He has sung this song with a joyous abundance of someone who's singing for the love of it - and not to sell records.

Vishal-Shekar's music is genuine and uplifting - unlike their faux-peppy songs in later albums like Dostana, I Hate Luv Storys, Anjaana-Anjaani et.al. Honestly, I may not be able to tell one from the other at some time in near future.

There is something in this song, something surreal almost, that touches my soul and makes me smile every time I listen to it. It may seem like an exaggeration, but it actually makes me a little more hopeful, and a little less cynical. Music can be so powerful at times.

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Goodbye, Coffee!

Dear Coffee,

I love you, but it's time we parted ways. 

I know you've been with me in my most difficult times. And believe me, leaving you is a lot more painful for me than it will ever be for you. It's hardly been a few hours, and I already feel crappy. 

But it has come to this - you have hurt me. I never thought you'd do this to me, knowing how much I depended on you. Guess that was my undoing. I wish I could say "It's not you, it's me." But it really is you. Mom used to constantly tell me that you're not good for me. I wish I paid heed before it was too late.

I think I'll even have to avoid coffee shops, given how much time we've spent together there. I might even bump into you sometime, and things might get awkward. 'Cause no matter what I say, it'll be hard for me to not fall for you yet again.

Know this, though - I loved you deeply. I loved waking up to you, loved the way you popped up in the middle of a dreary day and made it bearable, loved how you stayed up with me during my exams, even loved your  dark and bitter side.

But I won't get swept off my feet again. I'm not averse to an occasional rendezvous, but that's all there will be to us.

Adiós!
~K

Image Source

Hindi

हिंदी दिवस के अवसर पर यह सोच कर अच्छा लग रहा है, कि मेरी पढाई एक हिंदी भाषी स्कूल में हुई. इससे मेरी अंग्रेजी कमज़ोर नहीं हुई, पर हिंदी ज़रूर आज तक मज़बूत है.

आज भी मैं हिंदी उपन्यास पढ़ती हूँ, हिंदी अंको को पहचानती हूँ (कई लोगों को यह मुश्किल लगता है), और हिंदी की बारीकियों को समझ सकती हूँ. हिंदी कविताओं का एक अलग आनंद है. साथ ही, इससे उर्दू समझने में भी आसानी होती है.

इसका बहुत सा श्रेय मम्मी को जाता है. एक ऐसे समय में, जब हर कोई सोचता है कि अंग्रेजी स्कूल ही अच्छे हैं, उन्होंने एक स्कूल के माध्यम से ज्यादा उसमें पढाई के स्तर को अहमियत दी. साथ ही लगातार हमें हिंदी और अंग्रेजी दोनों भाषाओँ में ज्यादा से ज्यादा पढने के लिए प्रेरित किया. 

साथ ही मेरे स्कूल, 'सरस्वती शिशु मंदिर' और बनस्थली विद्यापीठ को बहुत, बहुत धन्यवाद. उनके सिखाये हुए सिद्धांत उम्र भर मेरे साथ रहेंगे. 

New Blog: Gulzar 101

I've created a new blog: Gulzar 101

It's a blog where I write about my interpretations (mostly translations that make a little more sense than the ones already available on the web) of Gulzar's songs. They might not be deep, might not even be accurate; but hopefully might prove to be useful. Once in a while I might even go into the philosophy/thought behind the song.

I hope to update this blog regularly. But then, I'm a fickle, so I won't make any promises.

http://gulzar101.blogspot.com/

Please visit. Comments and brickbats welcome!

Sketch: Marilyn Monroe

Another one of my sketches, of Marilyn Monroe. With it, I was mostly learning about drawing blonde hair. Hope you like it :)

I'm just learning sketching, and to add to it, am pretty irregular too. I have been forever trying to be more regular, but now I've accepted that that's just not me. 

Johnny Depp and Audrey Hepburn

So I've started sketching recently. Re-started, actually 8-|
Presenting before you, Johnny Depp and Audrey Hepburn :)

Rozaana updates

Well, this post comes mostly because there are too many 'updates' to fit into one facebook status update.

For one, had a wonderful get-together yesterday with old project mates (MOJOiites). It's always so good to meet old friends... Surprisingly (or maybe not), we are all in different companies now. That's the way things are in IT sector, I guess... though I wonder if all of us have made many good friends in these many companies that we keep hopping to and from.

For another, I have re-discovered my love for qawwalis. Not that I'm into the 'real' qawwalis; I have heard just the ones I came across from Bollywood. What goes a long way into getting me fall in love with them is their witty word-play. Dear imaginary readers, if you too like witty wordplays, listen to songs like 'Na to karvan ki talaash hai' (from Barsat ki Raat) and 'Teri mehfil mein' (Mughal-e-Aazam) or maybe even 'Hai agar dushman [dusham] zamaana, gham nahin' from (Hum Kisi Se Kam Nahin). Well, yeah, this song is not just a regular song from Antakshari; it displays some pretty good singing and good lyrics.

Picking up from somewhere in between the last paragraph, Mughal-e-Aazam was a treat to watch in color! (OK, so I watched it some 6-7 years back, but that doesn't mean I couldn't recommend it). Well maybe it wouldn't be quite that much fun when watched on a smaller screen... Anyhoo, the song 'Pyaar kiya to darna kya' (from the same movie) also touches some chords in my heart. The way it has been filmed, Lata's voice, Madhubala's defiant looks and the audacious lyrics - they all come together in such a powerful way that I can't help falling in love with it.

So, as might be pretty apparent, yesterday was my day with youtube and old songs and qawwalis. And I have to admit - though I might not be listening to music quite as much as I would like to, it always is such a pleasure to go back to it (even for small intervals)!

On that note, I bring to an end my random blog post. Well, almost...

Because I suddenly remembered just how much fun it was to attend a live qawwali session by Sabri brothers on the eve of Eid in Banasthali ... it was surreal and a lot of fun! Wish I could attend more live performances. Wish list includes Sonu Nigam, A.R. Rahman, sufi music, and well, anything to do with music!

PS for imaginary reader(s): If you come across any nice qawwalis yourself, please let me know.

The 'Book' Tag

(My books: Click on the image to view in larger size)

Self tagged from Arpz's blog ;)

1. Favorite childhood book?

Somehow, my mom got around to getting us a lot of Russian books, translated in Hindi. My favorite used to be one called 'Roosi Itihaas ki Kahaaniyaan' (Tales from the Russian History).

2. What are you reading right now?

i. The Unbearable Lightness of Being

ii. Last Man Standing

iii. The Sound of Water

3. Bad book habit?

i. Leaving books unfinished, if I don't like them

ii. Not reading non-fiction

4. Do you have an e-reader?

No.

5. Do you prefer to read one book at a time or several at once?

If I like the book, I read one at a time. If I find them not-so-good-not-so-bad, I keep jumping from one to the other.

6. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?

No.

7. Least favorite book you read this year (so far)?

Some Nora Robert novel.

8. Favorite book you’ve read this year?

A few Agatha Cristie's ;) I love them all!

9. How often do you read out of your comfort zone?

I keep trying to. Though I avoid self-help books at all cost.

10. What is your reading comfort zone?

Fiction, good humor, poetry...

11. Can you read on the bus?

No.

12. Favorite place to read?

On my bed.

13. What is your policy on book lending?

I lend only to people I know love books as much as I do, and will return my books.

14. Do you ever dog-ear books?

No.

15. Do you ever write in the margins of your books?

No.

16. Not even with text books?

Sometimes. I also use a highlighter. Makes it easy to recall things.

17. What is your favorite language to read in?

English, Hindi, simple Urdu in English/Devnagri script

18. What makes you love a book?

i. Story

ii. Language

iii. Characters

19. What will inspire you to recommend a book?

It has to be really good!

20. Favorite genre?

Fiction

21. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did)?

Classics. There must be a reason why they're called classics!

22. Favorite biography?

I've only read 'My Experiments with Truth', since it was a course book.

23. Have you ever read a self-help book?

No.

24. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction)?

Inspirational? Gulzar's poetry often inspires me to write :P

25. Favorite reading snack?

Chocolates.

26. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience?

The Alchemist and Animal Farm.

27. How often do you agree with critics about a book?

I don't read critic reviews of books.

28. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?

If I don't like a book, I say so.

29. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you chose?

i. Urdu for reading Ghalib and many others

ii. Spanish for reading Pablo Neruda

30. Most intimidating book you’ve ever read?

I don't know how books intimidate! They can be boring, at max.

31. Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin?

I haven't begun many classics since I don't know if I'll ever be able to finish them.

32. Favorite Poet?

Gulzar. Ghalib. Neruda.

33. Favorite fictional character?

Howard Roark.

34. Favorite fictional villain?

The Joker from Batman and Iago from Othello.

35. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation?

Agatha Cristie or such.

36. The longest I’ve gone without reading.

A month or two, at max.

37. Name a book that you could/would not finish.

The latest is a Nora Roberts novel (the same from Q. 7)

38. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?

Nothing much. Unless the book's boring.

39. Favorite film adaptation of a novel?

There are many good movies based on books - Fight Club, Shawshank Redemption and many more. But I haven't read these, so I'll say Silence of the Lambs.

40. Most disappointing film adaptation?

The Da Vinci Code.

41. The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time?

Running into a few thousands, probably?

42. How often do you skim a book before reading it?

Never. I read the back cover to determine if I want to read the book.

43. What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through?

Predictability.

44. Do you like to keep your books organized?

Yes.

45. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them?

I keep my books :)

46. Are there any books you’ve been avoiding?

Many classics.

47. Name a book that made you angry.

Ellsworth Toohey in The Fountainhead got me angry. I love the book, though!

48. A book you didn’t expect to like but did?

I don't read a book if I don't expect to like it.

49. A book that you expected to like but didn’t?

Animal Farm.

50. Favorite guilt-free, pleasure reading?

Suspense thrillers and Calvin and Hobbes.

What do you REALLY love doing?

Last night, after a really long time, I spent some time listening to music. It was a beautiful night, with the winter setting in. Each whiff of air (with just a hint of cold) carried with it the light scent of tulsi and mustard oil (used to light the evening lamp). A perfect after-Deewali night of North India!

As I strolled on the terrace, the music created such a magical feel, that I wondered what indeed has come between me and my love of music? Looking back, I realized that I spend almost 2 hours every day watching TV (9-11 pm). This is a relatively new habit. Having only DD-1 at home when growing up, and thereafter being in a no-TV university for 8 years ensured that I never fell into this habit.

So, with almost 12 hours (8 am - 8 pm) spent in and commuting for my job - followed by these 2 hours - I am left with only 10 hours a day. And I sleep for 8 hours out of these 10. Where is the time for things that used to be me? Where is the time for music, dance, books, movies, sketching - all these things that as a student I used to call my passion?

The point I am trying to make to myself is,

(i) I should probably shift to a place relatively near to the office (commuting for job accounts for 3-4 hours a day - WAY too many!) - but I love our current apartment just too much for that :(

(ii) I should cut back on watching TV. (Wish they showed really bad shows on Star World too, just like on almost all other channels)

@Everyone: Do you find time for yourself? If yes, how? If no, it is time you started thinking about it too.

PS: I was listening to songs by Gulzar.

An Idea can change my blog's life?

Any idea on how to revive my blog? I want to write, but I can't get myself to do it. And when I do write something, it's not good enough to be posted online :-|

Transition

Life has suddenly become so different. I foresaw some changes, but not so many, and not so drastic, and definitely not for the worse :(

I sincerely hope things will get better with time.

(PS: For all those who are reading between the lines - This is about a job change, and certainly not about my personal life.)

Depressing (Depressed) Post

*Caution - Depressing post ahead!*

With every moment of awareness, there's this nagging thought - that even though things are perfectly amazing around me; there's something fundamentally wrong in me, about me. By what age do people normally become aware of what it is that they want to do with their lives? Because I have no idea what I want with mine! This sense of aimlessness is constantly painful, to say the least.

Not that I'm not doing well enough in whatever it is I do. But when I stop and ask myself, "Is this what I want to do all my life?", the answer is always a No. But the problem is, I do not know doing what could change that answer to a Yes!

Are consultants really wise enough to know what I don't know about myself? Can they help? Or do I just need a break? There's really nothing that seems to be helping me out of this senselessness - no thought sounds thoughtful enough, nothing helps me sustain my fleeting moments of happiness.

Please help! Suggest something/anything that can get me out of this awefully gloomy state of mind. :(

/

Favorite songs, 2009

Now that we're into a new year, I'm trying to decide whether or not to make 'writing blogs regularly' my resolution for 2010. Though it will hardly be possible, here nevertheless is a random post for January 2010, a list of Hindi movie songs of 2009 I played over and over again:
1. Songs of Delhi-6: Right from ‘Masakkali’ (a very different use of Mohit Chauhan's voice) to ‘Maula’ (loved this, still don’t know the singers. Was it Rehman himself?) to ‘Genda Phool’ to ‘Yeh Delhi hai mere yaar’ to ‘Rehna tu’, I think this was an album where every songs stood out.
2. Dev-D: It all began with watching the first promo on Youtube and ‘Emosanal Atyachar’. Though FMs made us have too much of it, the song was a path-breaking one nevertheless. My favorite from the movie, though, is ‘O pardesi’.
3. Slumdog Millionaire: Jai Ho brought the Oscar glory home, a fitting one for all time favorites Rehman and Gulzar. The song will always be special for India, though FMs did an overkill with this one too. ‘Ring Ring Ringa’ has very catchy beats.
4. Kaminey: Gulzar works magic with his pen once again! The title track has lyrics to die for. And ‘Raat ke dhai baje’ has some amazing vocals. Not to forget, there was the unforgettable ‘Dhan te nan’. Aa ja ke one-way hai yeh zindagi ki gali ek hi chance hai!
5. Gulaal: Though not widely heard, the songs are an eclectic bunch. Out-of-the-box lyrics (which is an understatement) make Piyush Mishra someone to look out for. ‘Beedo’ is my favorite and ‘Aarambh’ Rahul’s. ‘Duniya’ is an entirely different take of Guru Datt’s legendary ‘Yeh duniya agar mil bhi jaaye to kya hai’.
6. Songs of Love Aaj-Kal: Surprisingly, I haven’t been able to find any sources of inspiration for this Pritam album as of yet (other than the obvious Naagin thing in Twist), but this was a good collection nevertheless.
7. Ajab Prem Ki Gazab Kahaani: ‘Prem ki naiya’ is a personal favorite :P, though ‘Tera hone laga hoon’ and ‘Tu jaane na’ can be heard on a loop. ‘Tu Jaane Na’s Kailash Kher version is to die for!
8. Tum Mile: A third for Pritam! But (negative) prejudices aside, this album does have some amazingly melodic compositions. ‘Tum mile’ and ‘Tu hi Haqiqat’ ‘s different versions have turned out to be immensely likeable.
9. ‘Goonja sa hai koi ektaara’ (Wake Up Sid)
10. ‘Shukran Allah’ (Kurbaan)

This list, by no means, can be called complete. Please write your favorites for 2009, 'coz there might be something that might have entirely slipped my mind, or there might be songs I might never have heard in the first place. :)

And, welcome to a new year!

Kashti

Doobti ubarti zindagi ko
Kinaara dikha diya hai
Teri aankhon ke saagar mein
Tairti hui muskuraahat ne
.

Har Roz

To all those who do not know this already - I'm getting married. In 20 days' time - the date is 14th Feb! Life's getting busier and better, with each day getting spent in purchasing things and collecting memories...

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Har roz, raat hote-hote

Saare din ikattha kiya hua dard, aakhir nazar aane lagta hai

(Shukra hai yeh dard dil mein nahin,

Haathon aur pairon mein hi hai)

Har roz, yoon ghoom-ghoom kar

(Kabhie Chandani Chowk ki tang galiyon mein

To kabhie kisi mall mein)

Hum jo waqt guzaar rahe hain;

Woh waqt guzar nahin raha, kahin jama hota ja raha hai

Waqt milne pe in lamhon ka ek calendar banaayenge

Har roz ki, jitni bhi thakaan hai

Jitni bhi shikaayatein

Sab gaayab ho jaati hain

Bas jaate-jaate ek baar muskurate ho jo tum

Har roz, saamaan sahejte hue raat mein

Kisi na kisi khyaal ka silsila chal padta hai

Khwaab ab zyada nazdeek se dekh paati hoon

Har roz, din par din

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Tinka Tinka

Tinka-tinka, hum-tum dono,

Sapnon ka asbaab sametein