different hai, acchha attempt bhi hai....par pata hai shuru mein thodi traditional si Hindi mein chaar lines hoti aur ending ki do lines ye to bahut gehra impact padta! direction sahi hai lekin :)
@JJ, Well, I had thought of writing a few more lines. but was it was that time when the mind goes blank and you feel relieved even if it's only one line that u've managed to bring out of ur mind / pen (keyboard ;) ).
My view.... Zindagi kya hai? Kuch kagaaj ke paano par bhikree hue syaah aalfaaz, kuch ehsaas, kuch yaadei…
Kuch Sapno ke mukmil hoone aur kuch sapno kee tootne ki daastaan….
Yaa phir ek toota taara – chaamkta hua, aapne kuch roomani paalo main doosro koo aapne hoone kaa ehsaas dilaata hua, doosro ki zindagi main aapni peechan ke nishan chodne ke kooshish main
maine kudh see poocha yeh sawal to meera Mazhar boola “kyo poochta hai aaise saawal jiska kaa zawab khuda ke paas bhi nahin….”
10 comments:
बेहद ही गहरी पंक्तियाँ हैं - लाजवाब ! I have made them as my GTalk status message, hope you don't mind.
@Abhinav,
Thanks :)
No, I don't!
different hai, acchha attempt bhi hai....par pata hai shuru mein thodi traditional si Hindi mein chaar lines hoti aur ending ki do lines ye to bahut gehra impact padta! direction sahi hai lekin :)
@JJ,
Well, I had thought of writing a few more lines. but was it was that time when the mind goes blank and you feel relieved even if it's only one line that u've managed to bring out of ur mind / pen (keyboard ;) ).
Superb!
[and thought for a long time to add something more. Couldn't. It's just excellent!]
thanks Raja :)
impactful..nice.. I liked ur casual use of language. :)
@Kaunquest
Thank you :)
Good one dear....
My view....
Zindagi kya hai?
Kuch kagaaj ke paano par bhikree hue syaah aalfaaz, kuch ehsaas, kuch yaadei…
Kuch Sapno ke mukmil hoone aur kuch sapno kee tootne ki daastaan….
Yaa phir ek toota taara – chaamkta hua, aapne kuch roomani paalo main doosro koo aapne hoone kaa ehsaas dilaata hua, doosro ki zindagi main aapni peechan ke nishan chodne ke kooshish main
maine kudh see poocha yeh sawal to meera Mazhar boola
“kyo poochta hai aaise saawal jiska kaa zawab khuda ke paas bhi nahin….”
`lokesh v.
that's very profound, Lokesh! nice thoughts :)
Post a Comment