Kanha

I was five years old, when I asked mom what my name meant. "Radha," she told me "Kanu means Krishna, and Priya means beloved, so Kanupriya means the beloved of Krishna, that is - Radha.
So, on Janmashtami, here's to my beloved, Krishna - Happy B'day!
And for all Krishna devotees, here's a beautiful collection of pics (from the net) -

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(This one's my fav!)

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Chitvan

Chitvan
Janm-MaraN-Aakarshan

Chir swatantrata ki akanksha
Ya phir aTooT yah ik bandhan

Bhor ki komal shvet namee
Phir kaali raat ka woh anjan

Kabhie laakhon-laakh khyaalon mein
Kab nis-din ik hii dhun mein magan

Palkon ke tale sameTe hue
Dharti, taare, yeh chaand-gagan

Ik pal ko thame, phir chanchal yeh
Jeevan ke raag ka jyon gunjan

Love lost

Dear Diary,

It's our seventh year together, and my seventh year of being away from her...

I didn't really want to her to go - I know that she loved me. We were happy together, happier than we had ever been (or could ever be, perhaps). She was the future that I dreamt of, the future that could have been mine. Except that I ran away from it, from my happiness. I was too afraid it would leave me... I left that happiness.

Not that I miss her day and night, no! It's just when I least expect it that she comes - unpredictable as always. You know, that's why I hated her. She was so full of contradictions, in fact, all about contradictions. When she looked too happy, it was to hide herself from the sadness that was eating her. And when she was crying, you could be sure the next moment she'd be laughing at you for believing her crocodile tears. She lied with such authority, that her moments of truth looked like a saga of lies. She thought with her rational heart, and feeled with her sentimental mind. That is why I hated her... And loved her.

Because life was not a journey with her - it was a quest. Everyday you had to win her anew. She was not the same person you met yesterday, or could expect to meet tomorrow. That is why I loved her.

After all these years, I still find her memories scattered around me, here and there, now and then. As if you open a long-forgotten favorite book, and a rose that you had put in it years back makes you remember something and smile all of a sudden, or fills your heart with gladness (or sadness) - that is how her memories are. Fragrant, forgotten and fragile.

Of Rains and Bansthali

I came to office today, a saturday, to work. That's the bad part.
The worse part is, it's a beautiful day.
Worst is, I didn't do anything, and didn't go out.
Didn't do anything 'coz I was not feeling like. Just couldn't bring myself to ignore the showers, the cool breeze, everything about the nature so beautiful - and so rare in Noida.
Didn't go out 'coz - first, it was raining. Second, I'm not a full-fledged s/w engr yet, can't afford to flunk in my MCA final sem exams. And third, simply 'coz I didn't have anyone to go out with!
And don't know why, but with today's rain I din't miss
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So, continuing on Sunday......

..... but with today's rain I din't miss a romantic date, a long drive, chai-pakora or the usual rainy-day thingies as much as I missed Banasthali. Rains were one of the respites from the usually boring life there. And everyone really enjoyed! At times I miss Banasthali...

I'm already looking forward to going to Banasthali (yes, I'm leaving tomrrow :D) and meeting everyone yet again. There'll be new stories from different companies/cities/states and lots of treats, with many of our batchmates engaged.

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Colors and a Bench

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That's it
Dunno why
Dunno how
Some things just happen
Without any reason
Like this -
Colors and a Bench!




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Confusion

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No, I don't know what it is. I didn't know what I'd come out with when I started drawing this. I was just plain confused, and it shows. It's not even an original idea in its entirety. I saw something in various shades of green somewhere (though that was done using shading/texture/lightness effects) and got inspired.

Coming back to myself (ah, my favorite topic!) - as I said, I'm confused. So much so, that I goofed up (on my job) in something I had been doing almost everyday. And it was as stupid as typing something totally irrelevant in an xml file, and releasing it! 8-

So, I thought, maybe I need a break (yes I do) - but can't really afford one. We've to vacate our flat (for those who're interested - it's not about the four of us (me and my roomies) only, all the bachelors in our society have been asked to look for a new place to live in, 'coz some fool (read a drunk guy) jumped off the third floor and died! (how dumb can it get!) So all those living in Noida and reading this, if you have a room, contact me!!).

And now with my final exams a week away (at last!), loads of work at office, a new module to work on (that means many-many documents to read - apart from the ones I have to study for my exams), the last thing I needed was this confusion.

Especially, you, Mr. Mukherjee, if you're reading this - help me out! Help me understand what's going on.

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Coming back to the picture again, there's something missing in it, and I'm not able to put a finger on it. Maybe a light would all of a sudden emenate from atop the rod or something. I can actually see that, but alas! paintbrush is too primitive a tool for that *sigh*.

So, if you think something can be done to the painting's state (or mine), lemme know *sigh*. I'll try my best to *listen* (that's quite improbable though) and talk (all the more improbable).

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Current Music:
Tum bhi to tum nahin ho aaj
Hum bhi to aaj hum nahin

Doctors

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o Patients are really the most impatient people!

o Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

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Missing Rewa

Rewa, the place I was born and brought up at - a typical small city in MP, where every time you get out of your home, you're sure to bump into at least 50 people you know - your relatives, your friends, your relatives' friends, your friends' relatives. Where the shopkeepers, postman, electricians, bai know you.

I used to get pretty irritaed when, as a teenager, every time I got back to my home, someone would ask - "Aaj PK School ke paas kya kar rahi thi?" or "Kyun, khoob chaat khaayi shaam ko?"

Every evening, someone would come over and talk about everything under the sun - right from PV Narsimha Rao's government to VermaJi's nephew's kanchhedan. Every evening (paani jaane ke baad) we'd spend our time shuttling between kitchen (chai) and drawing room (gap-shap), while every 7.3 minutes the doorbell will ring - announcing the visit of some neighbour, relative, chanda maangne waala, patient, patient's relatives, MRs (OK, the last three are specific to a doctor's home) and so on.

While shopping, name the thing and you know the shop you'll end up at. Greeting cards/Gifts - Vishal; Ice-Creams - Pick & Moov; kirana - Vishwaas; kapde - Apna Baazaar/Kanchi; sandals - Mayuri; cosmetics - Ada; bangles (yes, we buy a whole LOT of them) - khatkhahayi (some call it khatkhatayi, but I'm sure it's khatkhahayi - Rewa's ancient-most market). Phew!

It's one of those place where it's India in its truest sense. Where you can still find children playing cricket in the Football World Cup season; where people still read hindi newspapers - having sansanikhej khabar's like how a cycle got stolen from Nehru Nagar, or "Yuvti Apne Premi Ke Saath Faraar". Where you'd still find more 'government employees' than 'software engineers'. Where a girl living alone in Delhi is still looked at with awe.

There're still people - young girls, their parents, grand-parents, and some you not even know - who'd come to me and ask about how I live here, if the species living at Delhi (Noida is Delhi) is homo-sapiens, what we eat, why we don't eat what we don't, how do we go to office, how we come back - and all the other kinds of hows/whys/wheres/whats.

I can go on and on writing, but have to finish some work. So will keep it continued in the next part, if I can! Ciao :-)

Mitti ki hai jo khushbu

Tu kaise bhulaayega

Tu chaahe kahin jaaye

Tu laut ke aayega

Nayi-nayi raahon mein

Dabi-dabi aahon mein

Khoye-khoye dil se tere

Koi yeh kahega

Yeh jo des hai tera, swades hai tera

Tujhe hai pukaara

Yeh woh bandhan hai jo kabhie toot nahin sakta...

Two more "sketches"

Sorry Mr./Ms. Anon (from the shoutbox), but I just don't feel like writing anything these days! :-p
Anyway, as for Rozaana updates -
a) Met Shobhit yesterday
b) Got some chocolates ;) (finally ;) ;) )
c) Enjoyed!
d) Worked in office today ;) ;) (I love surprising everyone once in a while ;) )

As for the sketches, both were done yesterday (I was busy today, u c). Am trying profiles nowadays.

Like the idea of the first one, but not the face.

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Wanted to draw a girl (and not a face only) in this one, but it didn't turn out well.

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Saree

Guess I've developed this liking for dark background colors, usually Black. Anyway!

This was done when I had a lot of work, and nothing seemed to be going right. Very rough (the sketch). Dunno when I'll get over drawing female forms, and draw something else. They're easy, and it's more like a habit - whenever I start drawing something, it turns out to be a female :-p

Oh, by the way, I didn't much like the movie - Black. I mean, the acting/plot was good and everything, the subject was handled well - still! Things were a bit overdone, especially by AB. I watched Page-3 at the same time, almost, and liked it better. It was so well developed, and had some fabulous actors.

Again, I liked Atul Kulkarni in Page-3. But he went over the hill in Rang De Basanti at places. Loved Siddharth in it, absolutely. Such a subtle role, done with perfection. Sukhi was good, too - has a great sense of humor. Soha looked fresh, Amir old.

But he looks all the more old in Fanaa - which is a disaster! Veer-Zara Part-II. Only better for its acting. Story is missing in both. Thus in a way it's better than Veer-Zara - the real disaster. (OK, all the Veer-Zara followers - the views discussed are purely mine, don't hit me!)

Enough for now, I guess. Will be back soon. :-)

(The title looks so very out of place now. But, well, whatever!)

A Morning

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We had a beautiful morning today (though I got up late - at 0819), and a typical one too. It was drizzling since yesterday, and Noida got some fine weather at last! :-)
When I got up, and went to the balcony as a routine - I was in for a surprise. I love rains, and was cribbing to Saras last night about how lucky he is 'coz it's raining in Bombay. There were a lot of other people in their balconies as well (which is not usual on a working day in Noida), some sipping tea, some talking, some (like me) standing all by themselves, all of them enjoying the sudden change in weather.
There were some maids huddled together taking shelter in the parking, a driver enjoying FM in the car, 2 school-kids playing football in the rain, some empty benches in the park, 2 swings - one broken, a pretty girl in an umbrella, an elderly fellow rushing to his office, two guys going out on a bike, and even a postman! Even the FM-RJ was not in her usual rant-away mood.
But as it was, I had to leave for office. The three of us (me, Neha and Shveta) had only one umbrella in us, and we got pretty much drenched by the time we reached. But for someone like me who loves rains, it was a treat.
And in the office we had delicious gobhi ke parathe, thanks to Lokesh! :-)

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Eternal Dance

In Black and White

Adhoora Chitr

Ek adhoora sapna, jiske poora hone ka intezaar hai...

Do shaamein Banasthali ke naam!

Saturday, May 20, 2006
Went to Neha Sarin (Begam)'s place at South Ex with Neha G(upta). Met Shiva (Shivaji Maharaj) and Meenakshi there. Had good food, good laugh and a good time.

Sunday, May 21, 2006
While coming back to Noida, met Madhulika. Once back in Noida, met Shipra di (a senior) and went to Rashmi (my old roomie)'s place. Met Sandhi (another roomie), Shweta Singh and Swapna Ray there. Had good food again. :-)

In between, watched Gangster. Loved Shiney and the songs!

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nazm ulajhii huii hai siine me.n

nazm ulajhii huii hai siine me.n

misare aTake hue hai.n hoTho.n par

u.Date-phirate hai.n titaliyo.n kii tarah

lafz kaaGaz pe baiThate hii nahii.n

kab se baiThaa huu.N mai.n jaanam

saade kaaGaz pe likhake naam teraa

bas teraa naam hii mukammal hai

isase bahatar bhii nazm kyaa hogii

(~Gulzar)

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Smile

(Another one of the sketches I did the other day. Quite a raw one, as it's done using a thicker brush mostly. But it's more expressive, sort of! And the girl looks like Nanda somehow :-D )

Mere do nayan...

Tum ho mere dil ki dhadkan

Tum bin laage na mann

Tumko hi dhoondha karte hain

Har pal mere do nayan

(Had been given an assignment I didn't want to do. So decided to do what I wanted to instead - sketching! And here's what came out of it :-) )

Pseudo Random!!!

saath mere hain tu har pal shab ke andhere mein
paas mere hain tu har dam ujle savere savere mein
dil se dhadkan bhula dena aasan nahi hai
ab toh aadat si hai mujhko aaise jeene mein
juda hoke bhi tu mujhmein kahi baaki hai
palkon mein banke aansu tu chali aati hai

Current favorite song

Well, my current favorite song...

(Movie: Gharonda
Music: Jaidev
Lyrics: Gulzar
Playback: Runa Laila)

tumhe ho naa ho, mujhko to itna yakeen hai
mujhe pyaar tum se naheen hai, naheen hai
mujhe pyaar tum se naheen hai, naheen hai

magar maine ye raaj ab tak naa jaanaa
ke kyon pyaaree lagatee hai, baatein tumhaari
main kyon tum se milne ka dhnoodhoon bahana
kabhee maine chaahaa, tumhe chhoo ke dekhoon
kabhee maine chaahaa, tumhe paas lana
magar fir bhee is baat kaa to yakeen hai
mujhe pyaar tumse, nahin hai nahin hai..

fir bhee jo tum door rahte ho mujhse
to rahate hain dil pe, udaasii ke saaye
koi khwaab oonche makaanon se jhaanke
koi khwaab baithha rahe, sar jhukaaye
kabhie dil kii raahon mien faile andheraa
kabhie door tak roshanii muskuraye
magar fir bhee is baat kaa to yakeen hai
mujhe pyaar tumse nahin hai, nahin hai..