Kaho Kaise Ho (Ek Kavita)

(Not my own, it's by Chandrasen Virat. And I've edited it)

Laut raha hoon main ateet* se,
Dekhoon pratham tumhare tevar
Mere samay! Kaho kaise ho?

Laut raha hoon main ageya* se
Socha tumse milta jaaun
Mere geet! Kaho kaise ho?

Laut raha hoon main yathaarth* se
Mann ho aaya tumhe bhent loon
Mere swapn! Kaho kaise ho?

Laut raha hoon main videsh se
Sabse pahle kushal poochh loon
Mere desh! Kaho kaise ho?

Laut raha hoon main jangal se
Socha tumhe dekhta jaaun
Mere manuj*! Kaho kaise ho?

Laut raha hoon main bichhoh* se
Pahle tumhe baanh mein bhar loon
Mere pyaar! Kaho kaise ho?

________________________________________
*
0. Ateet - Past
1. Ageya - Sth that cannot be sung
2. Yathaarth - Reality
3. Manuj - Human being
4. Bichhoh - Seperation

Teachers

I've learnt something from everyone. But there are some I've loved learning from:

1. Lakkad didi (Class-teacher, KinderGarten I)*
2. RL Pandey sir (Social Sciences, Std III, IV and V)
3. Vishnu Kant Tripathi sir (Physics, Std X)
4. Mamta didi (Hindi, Std VIII, IX, X)*
5. Smita jiji (Sanskrit, Std XII)**
6. Kusum Gupta Ma'm (Pascal, C/C++, OOP, BSc I, II, III)***
7. Sanjay K Dwivedi sir (OS, Compiler Designing, MCA III, IV)

_______________________________________________________
*Saraswati Shishu Mandir, Ma'm = Didi
**Banasthali Vidyapith, Ma'm = Jiji
***My favorite! [:-)]

Of chori and seenazori

*Lots of Hindi. The ones who have problem with Hindi can skip this one*

Well, if nothing, hostel life aapko chori zaroor sikha deti hai!.

Donno how it's possible, but we're all-time hungry here. "Jab jo milega, chalega!". Aur agar kuchh nahin mila to?... Well, to hum churaayenge!

I remember, it was my first year in hostel. We were six or seven 16-year olds. As usual, har raat humein itni bhookh lagti thi ki maangne ki naubat aa hi jaati thi. Then one day we thought we've had enough! We needed other sources too.

We held a meeting, and it was decided that we'd have to steal. Steal from where? Socha gaya, what better than the hostel store room? It had nothing but bread, and we knew it. But 2-3 packets of breads everynight will do. Plus, there was this adventure-factor, ofcourse! ;-)

The store room was at the end of our wing, and just in front of it was the warden's room. Risk to tha hi, lekin hum bhi khatron ke khilaadi the! Windows of the store room were kept open else the room would get too hot, jo breads ke liye achchha nahin hota. Khidkiyaan khuli hone ka fayda breads ke saath-saath humein bhi mila. The window had rods so that it'd be hard to get our hands inside. Moreover, packets of breads were kept at a distance from the window. So what we did was, we tied a knife at the end of a long wooden stick, and asked a skinny girl to be our partner-in-crime. (We needed her, humaare haath khidk ke andar ghus hi nahin paate) The idea was perfect, on the first night itself we were able to get away with 5-6 packets of bread. :-D

Bas phir kya tha, dastoor chal nikla. Hum har raat ko apni zaroorat ke hisaab se bread le lete the. Imaandaar the, kabhie extra nahin li! ;-) Raatein beetti rahin, warden ko pata bhi nahin chala. Anyway, negligence spells trouble. Ek din jaldi-jaldi mein, humaara auzaar (knife, alongwith the stick ofcourse) Ekta ke haath se chhoot kar us room ke andar gir gaya. There was no way out, hum sab jaake apne-apne rooms mein so gaye.

Next day- At the time of breakfast, the warden sat there on his usual chair, with the 'auzaar' in her hand, anger all over her face. (She looked just like a red-indian chief!). With every girl that entered the mess hall, she had the same question "Yeh tumhara hai?". Girls giggled like they do, everyone knew maajra kya tha! Anyway, criminal ka pata na lagna tha, na laga.

Ek woh din tha aur ek aaj ka din hai, store-room ki khidkiyaan band hi rahti hain.


(*This started our struggle for freedom. In a later incident, some more girls broke the lock of the other store room, and got 50 packets of Maggi and kilos of sugar which they (like true communists ;-) ) distributed among everyone. Equally.*)

Contradiction

Two contradicting thoughts I have had:

1. Live each day as it comes. Be ever-changing, ever-new. Be what the moment expects you to be. Dont cling on. Keep changing your ideas/thoughts as you get inputs. Grow with time.

2. Be constant. Be an integral entity, not a series of ever-changing adjectives. Set your beliefs, and follow them. Dont change with every tick in the clock. Contradictions and denials are not growth. Stand by the idea that is 'you'.

As Kids - (Part 1) Our escape from home

We were three - Pallavi didi, Sonu (my sis) and me. They're both two years older to me. We had formed this "secret" detective agency, called RP99. It was Richa-Pallavi and their ages. I was not a partner in the firm yet! :P

How serious we were with it! We'd actually go to all sort of weird places, and do real jasoosi. Our targets were usually any odd-looking person, all the patients (we live in doctor's colony), any big houses/kothis, the water tank of our colony (that was such a suspicious-looking place, secluded & dirty), and the crematorium near our colony. :)) In the hot summer afternoons when everyone slept, we'll spend hours looking for clues of any kind of crime. We spared noone. Everyone was either a criminal or a victim. We even had code names. Mine was Rakhi, the others were Rekha and Sridevi I think. What names!! Come to think of it, we were perhaps the most stupid kids around, but blessed with the best imaginations too.

One fine day when we returned home at 7 or 8 pm, having spent the whole afternoon & evening taking notes, keeping eye on all the 'criminals', mumma was furious! We got a good (verbal) thrashing and decided this was not the place for us. We had to find another home for ourselves.

The very next day, we took some bread, a comb and 25 paise each, and set on our journey. Where to go, everyone was keeping an eye on us (so we thought). We just roamed here and there, not talking to anyone, hiding behind trees & bushes for no reason and walking through dried up naalis. At last we saw a big house. Ah! Pallavi didi said "Dekho, hum Nagpur aa gaye. Yeh meri mausi ka ghar hai!"
R: "Andar chalein kya?"
K: "Mausi ghar par to nahin batayengi na?"
P: "Arey hum bas unse milke aur khana kha ke chale jayenge yahan se"

Knock-knock! Standing before us, a policeman with moustaches.
P: (to us) "Lagta hai Mausi ko kisi ne kidnap kar liya hai!"
R: "Bhaago!!"

And we ran for our lives. I hated it. Why did he had to kidnap Mausi, I was so hungy!

A few minutes of walking, and we were in the main market of Rewa. There's a place called Peeli Kothi, which was abandoned then (now it's been converted into a museum). A perfect place for us to live in, we thought! We went to the first floor using the creaky stairs. The first thing that we saw there was the scores of lizards and cobwebs all around us. Shrieking, we ran down the creaky stairs, which almost gave way under out feet.

We went to a shop. "Uncle, paani milega kya?" "!" We sat there, planning what to do next. I wanted to go home, I was so hungry! (I think they were too, but being elder to me they could not say this)
"Arey Sonu, tum log yahan kya kar rahe ho?" It was our uncle. "Munna mama?" (Thank God Rewa was a small place) I dont know of the others, but I was happy. At least I'd get something to eat now. He took us home. Where, before anything, we got lots of scolds and love, all mixed together. I dont know whether mumma was happy or sad or angry. I got to eat my favorite Gulab Jamuns that night. Lots of them.

Looking back at it, it's hard to believe we really did all this. There's so much to be said, I could write a book about our adventures. The Adventures of RP99. (Perhaps that's the reason I like Tom Sawyer, Calvin, Rusty and Swami so much.) :)

Lyrics: Ajnabi tum jaane-pehchaane se

Nothing special. Was just listening to this song. Kishore da, again.

Film- Hum sab ustaad hain
Music- Laxmikanth Pyarelal
Lyrics- Asad Bhopali
Sung by- Kishore Kumar

Ajnabi
Ajnabi tum jaane pehchane se lagte ho
Ajnabi tum jaane pehchane se lagte ho
Yeh badi ajeeb si baat hai
Ke nayi nayi mulakaat hai
Phir bhi jaane kyon
Ajnabi tum jaane pehchane se lagte ho

Tumne kabhi pyaar kiya tha kisi rahi se
Tumne kabhi pyaar kiya tha kisi rahi se
Tumne kabhi wada kiya tha kisi saathi se
Na woh pyaar raha
Na woh baat rahi
Phir bhi jaane kyon
Ajnabi
Tum jaane pehchane se lagte ho
Ajnabi

Dil me rahe aur hamara dil tod diya
Dil me rahe aur hamara dil tod diya
Saath chale mod pe aake rukh chhod diya
Tum ho kahin
Aur hum kahin
Phir bhi jaane kyon
Ajnabi
Tum jaane pehchane se lagte ho
Yeh badi ajeeb si baat hai
Ke nayi nayi mulakaat hai
Phir bhi jaane kyon
Ajnabi tum jaane pehchane se lagte ho
Ajnabi

Pseudo-Random Thoughts

I feel like a kid who's just found a new toy - life. I love it, I'm in awe of it, and I cant let anyone else be in control of it. It's mine, and there's so much to know about it.

I like the lyrics/music and voice of the (philosophical) songs that Kishore da sang for AB, Rajesh Khanna etc. And the mood too. His voice changes according to the mood. Listen to 'Yeh laal rang', 'Roop tera mastana' and 'Zindagi kaisi hai paheli'.

I hate myself for not studying. I really do.

I wish I were at home this Holi. But then, this is my last Holi in Banasthali. My seventh one.

I had thought life'd get more frustrating after Sonu and Rohini went home, but it's ok.

I've become very self-centered. See how the random thoughts begin with I and revolve around me.

Dil Se

Dil Se - Mani Rathnam's best flick as I see it. Dil Se is a disturbing (somehow) romance set in the backdrop of religious and nationalist fundamentalism, terrorism and violence.
The film's producers claim that the movie is a journey through the seven different shades of love, based on ancient Arabic thought. (I did not know that till today). Hub(attraction), Uns(infatuation), Ishq(love), Adiqat(reverence), Ibaadat(worship), Junoon(obsession), and finally, Maut(death). Bewitching, isnt it?
And lyricist Gulzar has captured all the seven shades in a single song, Satrangi Re. No wonder I find it one of the best songs ever written (and composed/sung). See the best of ARR in the compositions. All the songs stand apart, my favorite ones being Satrangi Re, Dil Se Re and Aye Ajnabee, though noone can deny Sukhwinder the credit for Chhaiya-Chhaiya.
Cinematography by Santosh Sivan is extraordinary. From the high altitude deserts of the north, to the pal,-fringed beaches of the south, India is shown in all her glory. And at her best.
Excellent performances by SRK and Manisha. Preity at her bubbly best (acted well too). And Manisha looks stunningly beautiful.
The story/screenplay was by Manirathnam himself I think. A very different movie. Sad that people could not understand it. Else they'd have loved it like I do.

I'm sick of

My perpetual headache
Sleeping too much
Not feeling good
Trying to be good
Failing badly at being good
Trying to make others happy
Failing badly at it too
Working a lot
Not working when and where needed
Meetings
Lectures
Bunking lectures
Parties and treats
Talking to people
(Even more) Talking to myself
Not getting (wanting) to talk

Bollywood - Faces I've noticed lately

Sushant Singh-
First saw him in The Legend of Bhagat Singh. Rajkumar Santoshi could not have chosen a better actor for portraying Sukhdev. His buoyancy was a perfect match for Ajay Devgan's intensity. Watched Jungle (he got a well-deserved Filmfare for it), Kaun and 16th December after TLoBS. And could not help but pat my back for the choice I have in movies, and actors. :D

Atul Kulkarni-
Even though I haven't watched his much acclaimed Satta, he's been outstanding in Khakee, 88 Antop Hills and Page 3. A very good actor, another one from the theatres.

Sandhya Mridul-
Was lovely in Saathiya (as Rani's sis, Deena) and better still in Page 3, as the ambitious, practical girl Pearl.

Sonali Kulkarni-
She never got the roles, or appreciation she deserved. Didnt she complement Saif perfectly in DCH? And does anyone remember the sweet, understanding wife in Pyar Tune Kya kiya? Given a chance, she can prove her worth even though she's not the 'star material' as they call it.

Rahul Bose-
Mr and mrs Ayyar, Jhankar Beats, Everybody Says I'm Fine, Chameli - he's been praised, but could never make his mark in the mainstream cinema. Lack of good roles, again. (I've seen only Jhankar Beats, and LOVED him in it).

Nagesh Kukunoor-
Teen Deewarein, the movie, was different and I liked it. And it was in it that I noticed Nagesh Kukunoor the actor. He acted brilliantly, and stood out even amongst the likes of Naseeruddin Shah and Juhi Chawla. Haven't watched Hyderabad Blues yet, but have heard it's another one of his good performances.

John Abraham-
He's hyped, 'coz he's been a supermodel, and now he's being liked as an actor too. Many hate him for this. But from what I see, he is a good actor, even if we forget his looks or physique. Liked his acting in Paap, Jism, Dhoom and Saaya.

Juhi Chawla-
:))
Well, watch out for her in Jhankar Beats and Teen Deewarein. Cannot help but love her!

Life's like that!

It takes the most unexpected turns. And makes you do the most unexpected things - things you have not even thought about until a moment ago, you do them as if that's what was meant to be done.
You buy a new house, the kind that you've always wanted. If there's an earthquake can you do anything but to leave it and come out in the open? 'Coz you know you can always build a new house, brick by brick. But if you stay in it, not wanting to lose it, you might lose everything!
You'll miss it for some days, cry for it perhaps, but life goes on. You find a new house, you start decorating it. It might not be easy, but it's fun if you find the right colors for the walls, the right furniture, the right curtains, the right people to share it with.

Changes are difficult, but inevitable. You have to learn to live with them.

The Aayam Experience

Aayam - the magazine of Control-C Association. I've been in the editing & production team for four years now. And every year it's a whole new experience.
We've grown together (Aayam & me), I've learnt so many things along the way. During my first year in Aayam, I felt very hesitant about rejecting any article (the girl took so much pain writing it, I thought), but with time you learn saying No.
You start to get used to people too. Initially I got irritated when others didnt show up for the meetings. I still do, but now I dont feel like shouting at them.
And you get to know how to make others write something. You cannot get useful articles by putting up notices at every wall of the institute, naah! There are tricks. Sometimes people are lacking in ideas. You show them the direction, and they'll come out with something extraordinary. You leave it all to them, they'll keep you waiting forever. We all need inspiration at time, dont we? [:D]
I've made so many new friends too. Seniors, juniors, batchmates. Some of them are really nice - the kind who give you this good feel, u know - Surabhi, Pooja, Sudhu are some of my favs. And I'm sure there'll be others too, we just need a little more time together.

Hmm... I'd say this magazine thing really is not a bad thing. I loved it, not so much for the readind/editing part of it, as for the learning part.

I'm back...

It's been long since I last posted a blog (It's more than 2 months ago, actually).
Just wanted to let u all know that I'm back. And I'll start writing again very soon. :D

PS: Thnx Raja, BD, Surabhi, Sudhu for reminding me time & again of my blogs!

Sonu Nigam

I have always said "I like some of his songs, but not him". It was this mushy-mushy style of his - he gets way too romantic. As my didi says, "Lagta hai agar isko woh ladki nahin mili, to mar jaayega". You can check this out yourself - just listen to any song from his album Jaan/Yaad. Or Resham Si Hain Yeh Hawaayein Sanam (Mere Yaar Ki...), Aayi Jo Teri Yaad (Saaya), or many others. Even in the ones I like - Saathiya (Title Track), Satragni Re (Dil Se). It gets almost comical at times. See the difference between the two version of the same song O Saathiya from Saaya - first one by Udit Narayan, & the second one (Aayi jo teri yaad - sad version) by Sonu, and you'll know what I'm talking about.
But recently I've actually started liking him. No, not because of Indian Idol. It's just that he sings really well. And that what counts when you're evaluating a singer. My favorite list includes a number songs by him-
1. Saathiya
2. Satrangi Re
3. Tanhayi (DCH)
4. Sandese (Border)
5. Tumse Milke Dil Ka (MHN)
6. Mera Rang De (The Legend of Bhagat Singh)
and many more. And I really cannot hate him any more.

PS: By the way, my new Minesweeper Beginners timning - 3 seconds. :)

Veer-Zara and Swades

Veer-Zara:
I dint like it from day one. From the day I watched the promos, that is. I still kept convincing myself that coming from the Yashraj banners, it had to be something good. So we (some 20 of us) went to watch it together. I wish I hadn't wasted my bucks. Dint know what made Yash Chopra give a movie like that. The first half was absolute crap, so was the second half.. maybe to somewhat lesser extent. Shahrukh, Preity, Rani, Amitabh, Hema, Anupam Kher, Manoj Bajpai, Boman Irani, Late Madan Mohan, Javed Akhtar, Yash Chopra himself - it didnot lack names. But you cannot make up a story with names only. I still find a lot of people liking it, loving it, praising it no ends.. maybe I've missed something good in it. But have I missed everything that was good?

Swades:
I like it. The feel of it. Even Shahrukh's looking okay. Especially in the song 'Yeh Tara'. I absolutely love this song. And the lyrics are lovely. I wish it turns out to be a good one. All the best Ashu.

I'm really missing a good movie from bollywood - what with Murder, Julie, Shaque, Khwahish, Tezaab etc etc - they all look the same to me.

Coming home to BV

At last, I'm back after Deepawali. Home is always so much fun. Especially if you have some 100 relatives waiting back at home. It's really nice seeing them all after so long, talking nonstop about so many things, going to the same old places that we've been to a hundred times before, knowing about all the marriages fixed - relationships broken, preparing for Deepawali as if it was the first time we were celebrating it (or may be the last), cooking, not getting up in the mornings, fighting about so many things... the list continues. Who wants to come back to the hostel?
But when I come back, it doesnt look as hell like as I expected. Though there are so many assignments to be submitted, seminars to be presented, the farewell party to be arranged, things to be done & exams at a hand. Still, in a way it feels like coming back home.
Seven years in the same institute... it's bound to become your second home - first, for some. And you know you're going to miss it once you leave it.

Raat Aadhi Kheench Kar Meri Hatheli - Kavita

Found this poem by Harivanshrai Bachchan on net sometime back. It's beautiful. A different mood of Bachchan ji:

Raat aadhi kheench kar meri hatheli
Ek ungli se likha tha pyaar tumne
Faasla tha kuchh humaare bistaron mein
Aur chaaron or duniya so rahi thi
Taarikaayein hi gagan kii jaanti hain
Jo dasha dil kii tumhare ho rahi thi
Main tumhare paas hokar door tumse
Adhjaga sa aur adhsoya hua sa
Raat aadhi kheench kar meri hatheli
Ek ungli se likha tha pyaar tumne

Ek bijli si chhoo gayi sahsa jaga main
Krishnapakshi chaand nikla tha gagan mein
Is tarah karwat padi thi tum, ki ansoo
Bah rahe the is nayan se un nayan mein
Main laga doon aag is sansaar mein
Hai pyaar jismein is tarah asamarth kaayar
Jaanti ho us samay kya kar gujarne
Ke liye tha kar diya taiyaar tumne
Raat aadhi..

Praat hi ki or ko hai raat chalti
Au ujaale mein andhera doob jaata
Manch hi poora badalta kaun aisi
Khoobiyon ke saath parde ko uthaata
Ek chehra sa laga tumne liya tha
Aur maine the utaara ek chehra
Woh nisha ka swapn tha ki apne
Par gajab ka tha kiya adhikaar tumne
Raat aadhi..

Aur utne faasle par aaj tak
Sau yatan karke bhi na aaye phir kabhie hum
Phir na aaya waqt aisa, phir na mauqa us tarah ka
Phir na lauta chaand nirmam
Aur apni vedna main kya bataaun
Kya nahin yeh panktiyan khud bolti hain?
Bujh na paaya abhie tak us samay jo
Rakh diya tha haath par angaar tumne
Raat aadhi..

Birth-"Nights" at BV

Birthdays in hostels for sure are different. I've heard of birthdays at boys' hostels - they are different with PARTY, booze & GPL (ofcourse). Girls have a much subtler thing- at least at BV. They'd arrange a surprise B'day party at the girl's room. (Though everyone knows there's going to be a surprise, even the bday girl- it's kinda cute). Cake kaata jayega, shor machaya jayega, gifts/cards diye jayenge (yeah, right then, at 12 o'clock), and then comes the main thing- dancing. Actually, dance is what matters for almost all the junta. Girls'd go on dancing for hours together. Those who know, those who don't - all of us. And then we depart.
Today's Shipi's Bday. Happy Birthday Shilpi! We enjoyed dancing at your room.

Current mood: Reminiscent
Current music: Silence (toofaan ke baad ki shaanti)

Midsems in BV

Those who say girls study a lot, they're right. And those who say girls mug a lot, they're also right. Proof? Come have a look at any hostel in BV during midsems. Girls studying on stairs, on beds, on tables & chairs, on the roof, in front of the PC. Girls studying in groups, girls studying alone, girls teaching each other. Girls taking a break- girls chatting, girls going to canteen, girls singing, girls listening to Swades, girls making coffee - girls continuing with their studies. Girls with doubts, girls with no doubts, girls with lots of doubts, girls with all the doubts in the world! Girls getting depressed, girls calling their boyfriends, their family, their best friends.

Banasthali is a cute place during midsems.

Minesweeper

Okay, I'm getting addicted & I know that. Everyone knows that. But so what! I'm still a beginner in the game, having best time of 7 sec. in Beginners & 162 in Intermediate. I dont play Expert because I'm too busy playing the other two.
Recently joined the Minesweeperz Aplenty community at Orkut. ( http://www.orkut.com/Community.aspx?cmm=9390 ) It's good. Before that, I dint ever think of playing without flags. But nowadays I hardly play with flags.
Coming to Orkut, it's the second addiction aajkal. But it's interesting. And you get to meet some nice people there, though not always.

Edit: 6 secs in Beginners
112 in Intermediate. :)