Thursday, May 17, 2007

Ummeed

Chalte rahe hum roshni ka thaam ke dhaaga
Chaadar andhera har taraf bunta chala gaya

(It needs to be completed, but that'll need some time. Till then, I thought, why not let others add some lines to it?)

6 comments:

Shantanu Singh said...

good start...will love to add something to it, but for the time being I think this sounds better:

Chalte rahe hum roshni ka thaam ke dhaaga
Chaadar andhera har taraf badhta raha

Kanupriya said...

@Shantanu
mujhe lagta hai ki ismein 1-2 maatra miss ho rahi hain!

Shantanu Singh said...

hmmmm on second thoughts yes..... but considering the fact that it still has to be completed...

jj said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jj said...

:D sorry cudnt come up with nething better in 5 mins. Here are some ideas though not framed in the best possible manner! Would have given this a better try but I am damn sleepy abhi :)

Chalte rahe hum roshni ka thaam ke dhaaga
Chaadar andhera har taraf bunta chala gaya
Nikle the to sang apne bhi tha kafila
Ek ek kar sabko koi chunta chala gaya
Dil mein to thi ummeed ki paayenge manzil ko
Par gumraah hamko rahanumaa hi karta chala gaya

Kanupriya said...

@JJ
:)
the second one is good :)
but the words need to be shuffled a bit to make it more pleasant to the ear :p

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