Sunday, May 20, 2007

Demons

Some unanswered questions - unanswered, and uncomfortable - chasing you round the clock, staring at you silently (pretending to be dead, yet very much alive) - demanding their answers.

And answer you must. You don't want dead questions following you like dogs, do you? You don't want to relive their death, do you?

And yet answer you can't, because they expect words. A teary-eyed you - devoid of words, with a lump in your throat and sleepless nights by your side - can do nothing but annoy the Gods all the more. Devotees are most welcome, so long as they're not emotional fools.

Your existence is questioned, and that you're alive is no proof. Someone who's been suicidal for years can't possibly be alive, they say.

The walls of hope give way, and your own questions seep through. Assuring you of a death no worse than you deserve. A death of drowing in the waters of suspicion. Of doubts that others invented, and you lived with. (And will die with)



Mood: Indignant/Confused/And now tired
Music: Ek khyaal ke bagal mein kaise saari zindagi guzaar dein?

13 comments:

Shantanu Singh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shantanu Singh said...

Sorry had to delete the previous post

hmmm very well said Kanu...I agree with every word of it!

-Shantanu

Kanupriya said...

@Shantanu
I'm amazed that u cud understand a word of it! :-p
thanks anyway :)

....R.A.J.A.... said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kanupriya said...

Raja,
1. thanks :)
2. confronting them is what I want to do, too. but they and the answers make it all look absurd. make me look absurd, I shud say.
3. I am open to advice. just that advices don't work like magic.
4. whatever decisions needed to be taken, have already been taken.
5. words are unambiguous, but unutterable.
6. u never commented on my last blog!

JustSo said...

may I say ... hang in there - tough people last; tough times dont..

Kanupriya said...

@justso
yes, u may ;)

anyway, I do understand that, and see that happening all the time. just hoping for the best :)
and, may I add, I'm a hardcore optimist usually ;)

Anonymous said...

since when did nautanki turn to graves???

Kanupriya said...

@anon
whoever can run away from graves?

....R.A.J.A.... said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kanupriya said...

Raja,
-- This shows HOW open you are to advice!
I said advices don't work like magic. as in, yeh nahin ki idhar kisi ki advice maani, aur udhar asar hua :)

you made it more ordinary in the comments
exactly which one of my comments made it all the more ordinary?

JustSo said...

True optimism is a rare gift - use it well dear.
And I hope the storm in your mind's eye has passed

Kanupriya said...

@justso
yup :)

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